In this deeply personal solo episode, host Salma Hindy shares what really happened during six ayahuasca ceremonies in Egypt: including visions involving family trauma, religion, sexuality, heartbreak, vaginismus, emotionally unavailable men, and the hidden emotional pain carried through generations. What begins as a spiritual exploration slowly turns into something far more unsettling, healing, and transformative.

Across multiple ceremonies led by facilitators, shamans, and complete chaos in the Sinai desert, Salma describes purging grief from her body, revisiting childhood wounds, confronting her relationship to men and “the male energy,” and uncovering disturbing patterns surrounding shame, consent, religion, and silence within Muslim families. The episode also explores the emotional aftermath of loss, creative collapse, romantic heartbreak, and the search for spiritual meaning during periods of deep isolation.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, trauma, religion, mental health, plant medicine, and family abuse. It also somehow includes: Quran played during ayahuasca ceremonies, hot tattooed Egyptians, shared puke buckets in the desert, a Brazilian shaman threatening to cancel a retreat, a Taylor Swift ego death moment, and Salma sobbing over a 21-year-old while being held by a man who looked like he walked off the set of Gladiator. Proceed carefully.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, marital coercion, family trauma, religion, mental health, and plant medicine.

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CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

This week on The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, Salma sits down with Spozhmi, an Afghan-Canadian woman, to share her journey of discovering her sexuality, falling in love with her partner of 10 years, and choosing herself in the face of cultural and familial pressure.

From being taken back to Afghanistan for an arranged marriage… to secretly building a relationship with a woman… to coming out to her family twice - first through a handwritten letter, and years later again over the phone - this is a story about love, identity, and the cost of living your truth.

Later in the episode, her partner Taylor joins to share what it’s been like navigating this journey together.

A powerful conversation on love, belonging, and breaking generational patterns.

To learn more about Spozhmi’s work, visit lovenaturally.ca

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

For years, this has been the number one question she’s been asked: Why did you take the hijab off? In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma finally shares the full story, five years later.

This wasn’t one decision made in one moment. It was a long, painful, complicated unraveling shaped by heartbreak, therapy, faith, isolation, family pressure, and the slow realization that her relationship to the hijab was tied to much more than modesty. Salma reflects on growing up loving the hijab, the comfort and identity it gave her, and what began to surface when she started questioning religion, power, hypocrisy, and her own autonomy.

She opens up about the first time she ever went out without it, the fear she carried around her father, the grief of disappointing her family, and the devastation that followed choosing herself. She also speaks to the beauty that still exists in her relationship to Islam, and why this story is not about rejecting her faith, but about being honest about what this journey has actually cost her.

One of Salma’s most intimate episodes yet, this is a conversation about faith, identity, family, and the courage it takes to choose yourself - even when it changes everything.

This episode is for the Muslim girls. I love you.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Rania Harris
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Writer: Salma Hindy
Editor: Luke Davis
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy