The Session: For a Successful Marriage, Avoid “The 5 R’s”! From Focus on the Family.

Here’s the link to the full article, if you want to read more:

For a Successful Marriage, Avoid These 5 Rs - Focus on the Family

Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

1. Rejection

Something happens or is said, done, not said, or not done that results in a spouse feeling rejected.

2. Resentment

Resentment is any negative emotional reaction to what you think was said or done, or not said or not done.

3. Resistance

Resistance is putting up walls and cutting off communication and relationship. Resistance is being shut down emotionally and relationally to someone.

The solution: Engage. What emotions are you avoiding? Make eye contact, have conversations. Consider getting clear by saying, “The story I’m making up in my head about ________ is _______________.”

4. Revenge

Revenge is the attempt to get even. Revenge is taking advantage of a situation or setting up an opportunity so another can feel the rejection you felt. Examples include. Revenge is the attempt to get even. Revenge is taking advantage of a situation or setting up an opportunity so another can feel the rejection you felt.

5. Repeat

A toxic pattern is to believe that because you are hurt, you have the right to be unkind and hurtful. Then you hurt someone, and they hurt you, and you are offended, and they are offended, and in that offense both parties deeply dive into the 5 Rs.

Coaches Feedback

If we are intentional in our marriages, we will have less time with or when the five R’s show up.

Making your marriage, a priority will also help prevent the five r’s from showing up.

Particularly for families with children still at home it is very important to think about what you want your children to think about marriage and what they believe in about marriage based on what they saw their parents do?

What do you want your children say someday at your celebration of life? The powerful part of that is when that day comes there is nothing that you’ll be able to do about it. However, today you can write what you want them to say, based on how you manage your own life and marriage.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Forgiveness versus Unforgiveness, from Dr. Paul Tripp

(Ephesians 4:31-5:2) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

First, an introduction. Dr. Paul David Tripp was born in Toledo. He is a pastor, international event speaker, and author of more than 30 books and video series. He defines forgiveness in a single, simple sentence: Forgiveness is a vertical commitment followed by a horizontal transaction. What we are going to share is a summary of several articles and videos Dr. Tripp has done on forgiveness. His website is Paul Tripp dot com.

The Beautiful Power of Relational Debt

• Holding on to someone else’s wrongs gives us the upper hand
• Holding a record of a person’s wrongs gives us the upper hand in that relationship

The Dark Unhealthy Benefits of Unforgiveness

• Debt is power. It protects us in an unhealthy way.
• Debt is identity. It helps us feel more righteous and mature than the person we’re angry at.
• Debt is entitlement holding another person. Send against them makes us feel entitled.
• We can weaponize unforgiveness and use it for our advantage

Unforgiveness makes us equal with God

• It is not our job to dispense consequences to those who have hurt us

The Ugly Selfishness of Relational Unforgiveness

It has nothing to do with God and loving others

The Beauty of Forgiveness

The beauty of leading a life of forgiveness shows us how much we have embraced our forgiveness of our sins.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

After pleading with his his master for forgiveness and being granted forgiveness, he goes out and demands repayment from people who owed him. Matthew 18:21-35

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Children of Divorce

Psalm 27:10, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me"

Key Statistics and Findings Relational Wisdom 360

• Religious Impact: Children of divorced parents are more likely to become nonreligious; 35% of children from divorced families are nonreligious compared to their peers.
• Adult Faith: Divorce can cause children to feel isolated from their religious community
• Relationship Challenges: Children from divorced homes often struggle with fear of failure, abandonment, and conflict.
• Social & Academic Effects: Children of divorce are more likely to experience lower academic performance, and increased instances of delinquency and substance use.
• Long-Term Consequences: A 2025 study found that children of divorce had a higher likelihood of teen pregnancy and increased mortality rates compared to children from continuously married parents.

Dr. Judith Wallerstein Study

In a landmark study, psychologist Judith Wallerstein followed a group of children of divorce from the 1970s into the 1990s. She interviewed them at eighteen months, five, ten, fifteen, and twenty-five years after the divorce. The results were:

• Continued experiencing fear of failure,
• Fear of loss
• change
• Fear of conflict

Study Data

The Center for Economic Studies released the findings of a research project, where they surveyed 5 million children of divorce. Data shows that children of divorced parents have an elevated risk of jail time (40% increase), elevated risk of mortality (45% increase), increased risk of teen birth (60% increase) 9-13% less income

Other Important Implications

• Without two parents and one of the parents working, children are often times left alone. Their answer to that is to go on social media and other screens for attention and relationship
• Children of divorce are often unable to participate in after school activities

What do you want your children to learn about marriage and family?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.