This Gun in My Hand cover art

This Gun in My Hand

This Gun in My Hand

By: Robert Thomas Northrup
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Indomitable hero by virtue of the fact that he carries a gun, Falk Zildjian patrols the streets of Parabellum City in search of injustices to shoot. What would make anyone listen to an old time radio parody with a cast of one? This Gun in My Hand!© 2020 by Robert Thomas Northrup. Some rights reserved. Creative Commons Attribution, Non-Commercial, No Derivatives License.
Episodes
  • The Barn Job - Episode 151

    The Barn Job - Episode 151
    May 22 2026

    Who do you go to when you wanna fence livestock? How do we know the monster is allergic to the Moon? What’s a Lan Golly Yay Leap? Listen to find out!

    The Barn Job, episode 151 of This Gun in My Hand, was stolen and sheared by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What do I use to keep farm animals in line? This Gun in My Hand!

    Show Notes:
    1. The internet says alpaca wool is more valuable than llama wool, or at least more marketable. In the US, llamas are used more like guard dogs for herds of other animals, not for harvesting or selling their wool.

    2. The Herb I know in real life who likes Italian sausages from concession stands at the fair would not steal art or livestock, or livestock with art on it. No actual Herbs or Kreutzers or llamas were harmed in the recording of this thing.

    3. The song “Who Put the Bomp” was released by Barry Mann in 1961. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kpVqbCpXck

    Credits:
    Music in this episode came from these public domain films and old time radio shows:
    The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950 film)
    Too Late for Tears (1949 film, aka Killer Bait)
    Hour of Mystery radio episode “Journey Into Fear,” broadcast 9 June 1946
    Mystery House radio episode “Dagger in the Dark,” broadcast 5 July 1946
    Most of the music and sound effects used in this episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

    Sound Effect Title: HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.WAV
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/olver/sounds/505064/

    Sound Effect Title: Playing with a map by pfranzen
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/s/405452/

    Sound Effect Title: chugging diesel (bus) and rev.MP3
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/CraftyIndividual/sounds/418436/

    Sound Effect Title: WaHi Airbrakes blast.mp3
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/chripei/sounds/393663/

    Sound Effect Title: Bus Closing Door
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/am7/sounds/520753/

    Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

    Sound Effect Title: Footsteps on gravel by Joozz
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/people/Joozz/sounds/531952/

    Sound Effect Title: Shop door bell.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/775noise/sounds/494565/

    Sound Effect Title: AMB follón llamas y alpacas by Diegolar
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/s/406909/

    The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of The Guy From Coney Island by Jack Handley (1954), artist unknown.

    Image Alt text: Midway huckster at a carnival with tents and rides in the background, gestures up and to the viewer’s left. In his other hand, he holds a microphone. A few men in suits and fedoras stand in front of him gawking and smoking, one of them in a sailor suit. Across the bottom is the title, THE BARN JOB.
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    Less than 1 minute
  • The Buck Fifty Special - Episode 150

    The Buck Fifty Special - Episode 150
    May 9 2026

    What extravaganza does Falk have planned for his 150th episode? Or is the big event out of his control? Why does it have to be about him all the time? Listen to find out!

    The Buck Fifty Special, episode 150 of This Gun in My Hand, was specialized by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I gather all my friends for a big event? This Gun in My Hand!

    Show Notes:
    1. In Public Relations Writing class at Eastern Michigan U, my prof used to repeatedly joke that “there’s a lot of love in this room.”
    2. Falk explored the realm of stereo in Episode 83, “The Multitracks of Madness.”
    https://archive.org/details/tgimh-83-multitracks-of-madness

    Credits:
    Music in this episode came from these public domain films:
    The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

    Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door by eqavox
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/709418/

    Sound Effect Title: Wood_Creak_02.wav by dheming
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/s/177779/

    Sound Effect Title: Foley - Feet shuffling and sweeping on carpet by RavenWolfProds
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/503659/

    Sound Effect Title: Crowd walla by knufds
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/504906/

    Sound Effect Title: Weed Eater 16bit 48kHz ZOOM R24.wav by DK77
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/322182/

    Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

    Sound Effect Title: PA microphone feedback (2).wav by FreqMan
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/s/42930/

    Sound Effect Title: R02-06-Medium Crowd Applause.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480682/

    Sound Effect Title: Light Applause by ojosdedurazno
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/391326/

    Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

    Sound Effect Title: small group applauding (48/24) by neilraouf
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/484513/

    Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
    http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

    Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x by Mike Koenig
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
    http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

    Sound Effect Title: Machine gun.wav by CGEffex
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
    https://freesound.org/s/101962/

    Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
    License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
    https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

    Sound Effect Title: S18-25 Rifle shots battle.wav
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675666/

    Sound Effect Title: 22lr Caliber Rifle Shots and Reloading
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/717133/

    Sound Effect Title: gun lee enfield 303 rifle fire shot loud badass crispy.wav by kyles
    License: Public Domain
    https://freesound.org/s/450852/

    The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Along the Broadway Beat by Louis Sobol (1951), art by Ray Johnson.
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    Less than 1 minute
  • Love at First Sound - Episode 149

    Love at First Sound - Episode 149
    Apr 5 2026
    How do you convey love at first sight on an audio-only medium? What does that sound like? What in tarnation has got into you? Listen to find out!Love at First Sound, episode 149 of This Gun in My Hand, was [finger pop from mouth][side of mouth razz][quick burst of siren whistle][GUN_FIRE] by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. This episode is dedicated to Melinda [TING], and to our good friends Patrick and Anita celebrating their honeymoon on Ganymede. [Ting, Ting!] What’s the best way to coax the delicate flower of love to blossom? This Gun in My Hand!Show Notes:1. I keep trying to make a joke that shows on shortwave radio are second-rate compared with FM radio. Melinda, being a longtime expert, reminded me that people in our time like Alex Jones, ReviewBrah and various cult leaders have to pay extra to have their shows broadcast on shortwave. So maybe it should be considered a status symbol instead of a mark of weakness.2. Listeners have already heard The Cherry Pachyderm’s real name, Latthew Morressier, during his first appearance in episode 24, “Consulting Defectives.” He forgot but I didn’t.https://archive.org/details/tgimh-24-consulting-defectives3. It came out sounding like I’m dragging hillbillies for hoping their kids take the same job their father and grandfather had, but it’s not what I intended. I think this expectation is similar for people all over the US. Even though my grandfather (the master plumber) and my dad (the steamfitter) would be glad I got an office job instead of following in their footsteps, there’s a part of me that feels like I let them down by taking a different path.Credits:Music in this episode came from these public domain films:The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait) and The Big Combo (1955). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wavLicense: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/Sound Effect Title: Run-Out Groove of a 78 RPM Record – Archival Noise Texture by Auroch_Media License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0https://freesound.org/s/440733/ Sound Effect Title: Xylo N&D 72 C4.aif by beskhu License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/s/273879/ Sound Effect Title: Glockenspiel_46_f4_04 by cabled_mess License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/s/348924/ Sound Effect Title: Piano Note.wav by kelsey_w License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0https://freesound.org/s/467047/ Sound Effect Title: medium wine glass.wav by Tairblenn License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/s/549900/Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav by malupeeters License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/Sound Effect Title: Clothing_ShirtsandPants_Rustling.wav by duckduckpony License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0https://freesound.org/s/204016/ Sound Effect Title: Heels on Pavement.wavLicense: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/people/B.Harkins/sounds/683658/Sound Effect Title: banjo song.mp3 by Prime45 License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/s/522715/ Sound Effect Title: Toy Gun 7 License: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/people/giddster/sounds/434720/Sound Effect Title: laser gunLicense: Public Domainhttps://freesound.org/people/Superglue28/sounds/499696/Sound Effect Title: Horse Whinny 1.wav by GoodListener License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0https://freesound.org/s/322445/Music Title: Händel’s MessiahComposed by Georg Friedrich HändelPerformed by Orchestra Gli ArmoniciLicense: Public Domainhttps://musopen.org/music/5876-messiah-hwv-56/Music Title: Fugato in e minor, BWV 962Composed by Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750)Performed by Gunnar JohansenLicense: Public Domainhttps://musopen.org/music/45623-fugato-in-e-minor-bwv-962/Sound Effect Title: Tarzan Yell by Buster Crabbe from Tarzan the Fearless (1933)License: Public DomainSound Effect Title: Boing.wav by juskiddink License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0https://freesound.org/s/140867/ Music Title: Munniharppua.ogg By ElectricToothpasteLicense: Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 4.0 via Wikimedia Commonshttps://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Munniharppua.oggSound Effect Title: Siren Whistle 02.wav by FreqMan License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0https://freesound.org/s/88425/ Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYouLicense: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.htmlThe image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Confessions of Love, July ...
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    Less than 1 minute
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