When Medicine Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Planned | Ep35 cover art

When Medicine Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Planned | Ep35

When Medicine Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Planned | Ep35

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 What happens the moment you open the envelope or get the news and realize the future you sacrificed years for, planned your entire life around, isn't going to happen? In this episode of Better Physician Life, host Dr. Michael Hersh opens up about one of the most defining moments of his life: opening his Match Day envelope in 2003 and realizing the New York future he had planned—family, friends, training, everything—was gone in an instant. Instead of pausing to register the loss, he adapted quickly, treated his residency as temporary, and kept orienting toward a life that no longer existed.He reflects on how this pattern shows up for physicians: the residency that didn't match, the fellowship far from loved ones, the career arc or location that never felt right, yet we push forward, minimize disappointment, and stay anchored to "what should have been." Drawing from the Chicago Fire of 1871 analogy (the city wasn't rebuilt as before; a new version emerged), Dr. Hersh explains why arguing with reality keeps attention split, creates distance from the present, and blocks new possibilities. He shares how letting go—not lowering ambition, but releasing the old plan—allowed him to invest fully where he was, build relationships, meet his wife, and create a life he couldn't have imagined. The episode offers practical steps: name the loss without solving it, allow both disappointment and gratitude to coexist, and redirect attention to what's real now. He ties it to the free Five Minute Commute Reset as a daily space to notice what's still being carried from the past. Free 5-Minute Commute Reset for Physicians: betterphysicianlife.com/commuteresetTop 3 TakeawaysAcknowledge the Loss Before Adapting: Physicians excel at resilience and "making the best of it," but skipping the step of registering what ended (a hoped-for residency, location, life chapter) keeps attention anchored to a future that no longer exists. Naming the loss without analysis, blame, or forced positivity, frees mental energy and stops the exhausting argument with reality.Clinging to the Old Plan Costs the Present: When you're still oriented toward "what should have been," the current life feels like a placeholder. This divided attention creates distance from people, opportunities, and growth right in front of you. Letting go isn't defeat; it's choosing to build from where you actually are, opening space for unexpected good (family, career, purpose) that couldn't exist under the old blueprint.Rebuild Like Chicago After the Fire: The original plan burned down; you can't recreate it. A new version—different structure, different priorities—can be stronger and more lasting. The real work is shifting attention from "getting back to" something impossible to fully inhabiting and investing in what's here now.About the Show:Created for physicians who want more than clinical competence, Better Physician Life is a space for honest reflection, reinvention, and reclaiming purpose beyond the pager. Hosted by Dr. Michael Hersh, each episode dives into the questions we didn’t learn to ask in training, offering tools and conversations to help you live and lead with intention.About the Host:Dr. Michael Hersh is a full-time practicing gastroenterologist, husband, father, podcaster, and physician coach at Better Physician Life Coaching. He helps physicians rediscover joy and balance by setting meaningful goals, managing stress, and feeling more present at home and less annoyed and frustrated at work.His mission is to help doctors who feel stuck in medicine create a more fulfilling life that they actually enjoy living. Through coaching and conversation, he empowers physicians to reconnect with their purpose and design a career (and life) they love.Dr. Hersh is also the creator and host of the Better Physician Life podcast: How to Get Unstuck in Your Medical Career—a show for doctors who feel out of sync or stuck, and want to explore what true success can look like beyond the exam room.🔗 Connect with Dr. Hersh:🌐 Website: www.betterphysicianlife.com🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michael-hersh-md📸 Instagram: @betterphysicianlife📺 YouTube: @betterphysicianlife📘 Facebook: facebook.com/betterphysicianlifecoaching📱TikTok: @betterphysicianlife If you find yourself walking through the door still stuck in work mode, check out the 5-Minute Commute Reset for Physicians.Work doesn’t end on its own. This is a short, structured reset you can use on the drive home to shut down work-mode, clear your head, and show up more present for whatever comes next.You can download it for free at: https://www.betterphysicianlife.com/commute-reset The Better Physician Life Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult qualified professionals regarding your personal or organizational decisions. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for ...
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