After a long marriage — especially a difficult one — you can lose track of who you actually are. If you've come out of your divorce not quite knowing what you like, what you want, or who you are when nobody's watching, this episode is for you.

Nurse midwife Rachel Newhouse talks about rebuilding your identity after divorce, why the blank slate is both terrifying and a gift, and what salsa Tuesdays taught her about the science of starting over.

IN THIS EPISODE

• The identity question nobody asks when you're going through a divorce: who did you become inside this marriage, and who are you actually?

• Why the blank slate is terrifying — and why having preferences again feels selfish when it isn't

• How small, repeated experiences of dismissal and accommodation change how the brain processes your own needs over time

• Neuroplasticity and new beginnings: why salsa Tuesdays and V-necks are not trivial — they're how identity rebuilds

• How to start figuring out who you are without sitting down with a journal and deep questions

• What to do when the people around you are unsettled by who you're becoming

• Nurse's Note: The neuroscience of identity erosion in diminishing relationships — and what actually rebuilds it

Figuring out your next step doesn't have to feel overwhelming. The Breaking Upward tool helps you assess where you are and understand your options — privately, at your own pace, with nothing stored.

Try it free at app.breaking-upward.com

RESOURCES & LINKS

Breaking Upward AI Tool: app.breaking-upward.com

Website: breaking-upward.com

Instagram: @breaking_upward_divorce

TikTok: @breakingupward

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.