You know something needs to change, but you just have no idea what, how, or where to begin, and your lack of a plan may be starting to feel like failure.

In this Quick Dip, Rachel unpacks why the belief that you need everything mapped out before you're allowed to move is the very thing keeping you stuck, and introduces the AB-Z method: a simple framework that replaces the impossible task of knowing your whole future with a far more manageable one.

This episode is about how to craft your work, not how to leave your job completely or blow everything up, but how to get a genuine say in the shape of your working life - one honest step at a time.

Key Takeaways

• You don't need the whole career plan - you need A, a sense of Z, and B - the very next step.
• Z is not a job title. It's how you want to be: internally, and with the people you love.
• Recovering from burnout is not the same as arriving at Z. The absence of burnout is a step, not a destination.
• Comparing your Z to someone else's is one of the most reliable ways to stay stuck.
• Crafting your work and career can happen alongside your current role, not instead of it - and it can start at any grade, any stage.

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If you have ever ended a clinical day exhausted not from the medicine itself but from the weight of everybody else's feelings, this episode might hit home.

Josh Connolly, resilience coach and author of ‘It's Them Not You’, joins me to explore why many healthcare professionals take on so much of the emotional load for everyone - and how that pattern almost always began long before medical school.

Key Takeaways

• People-pleasing at work usually has roots in family roles from childhood. The 'high achiever', the 'mascot' and the 'scapegoat' all carry those patterns into adult professional life.
• Holding space for someone is not the same as absorbing their emotions. The moment you start feeling what they feel, you have crossed a boundary - and your ability to help them actually decreases.
• When you are about to say yes under pressure, ask: 'Who have I become right now?' If the answer is your childlike self desperately seeking approval, that is the moment to pause.

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Resources mentioned:

• It's Them, Not You: How to Break Free From Toxic Parents and Reclaim Your Story by Josh Connolly
• The Shapes Academy

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If you’ve ever thought to yourself ‘if I don’t do it, no one will’ this episode is for you. You tell yourself something important will go wrong if you don't do it all - but what if that's not what's actually driving your decisions?

In this Quick Dip, Rachel suggests something uncomfortable: that the decisions running your workload might less to do with patient safety than they are to do with who you believe yourself to be.

Because the question 'if I don't do it, who else will?' is often not about the risk of harm to patients, customers or colleagues – but more about the question ‘who am I if I don’t?’.

And learning to spot the difference between the two will give you back some choice over your workload.

Resources Mentioned

• The Shapes Academy
• You Are Not a Frog: The Over-Responsibility Trap series
• Part 1: Why Responsibility Keeps Landing on You
• Part 2: When ‘Can You Help?’ Doesn’t Feel Like a Question
• Part 3: How to Stop Feeling Guilty When It’s Impossible to Do Your Job

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Mentioned in this episode:

Download Your Free Overwhelm SOS Guide
Discover the simple, step-by-step process you need to calm your mind, take control of your tasks, and get yourself out of overwhelm.

⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now