Showing results by author "Rick Gualtieri" in All Categories

The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to 10-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley.... "The Monkey's Penis" features Chris, a teenage boy who receives a birthday gift unlike any other. In "Gary's Children," a man's quest for stress relief leads to terror, and an unexpected kidnapping takes place in "Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger."

Gamer, geek, and vampire – Bill Ryder was a normal guy who's now trying to survive in a world of abnormal horrors. Despite awesome powers and a Brooklyn-sized attitude, the odds are stacked heavily against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life.

My name’s Bill Ryder. Five years ago, I helped banish magic and monsters to the shadows. I thought it was over, that I was finished with all that supernatural crap. Turns out I was dead wrong.

Gamer-turned-vampire Bill Ryder would rather play D&D than take this supernatural crap seriously. Too bad the ancient horrors threatening the world don’t appreciate his attitude. Now he’s got a choice: face his destiny, or let the Earth become a living Hell along with his social life.

My name's Mike Walden and I’m a trash collector from rural Pennsylvania. I have a good job, friends, and a family I adore. There’s just one small problem. I’m a werewolf with a split personality. Winston, as I call my inner wolf, is not only awake and aware, he’s somehow in control of half my body. Worse, this hound from Hell’s got an appetite for household pets and zero regard for human life. He’s dead set on being top dog in this relationship and it’s all I can do to keep this savage beast at bay.

Get ready to scream with laughter with the Bill of the Dead Saga - books 9-12 of the hilarious Tome of Bill Series – over 40 hours of horror comedy.

My name is Tamara Bentley, "Bent" to my friends, and I'm not supposed to exist. I was born of the forbidden union between a witch and a werewolf, and they've been trying their damnedest to hide my existence ever since. But now my secret is out, and my uncle, the leader of the wolf pack, is pissed beyond belief. In his eyes, I'm something that should've never been born. He wants me dead and doesn't care who he has to sacrifice to get the job done.

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, though, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles.... Shingles Audio Collection Volume 2 begins with "Terror on Hypo Beach", in which a family vacation turns out to be anything but ordinary. In "Put Your Hand in My Ass", Will needs a mentor for the upcoming high school talent show. What he gets is Sloppy - an enchanted puppet with weird sexual proclivities and an extremely problematic approach to comedy. 

Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world.

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.

At first glance, most see only a shy girl from New York, but to the denizens of the night - vampires, witches, and their ilk - I am a nightmare given flesh, born to raze their kind from this very earth. I am the Icon, the Shining One, the last defender of humanity against the oncoming tide of darkness. They say my coming was foretold, that prophecies speak of a beacon of hope who will light the way during the end days. It is said I am destined to vanquish the last of the Magi, and face the Night Spawn in the battle for the fate of mankind.

Rowan Sinclair has trained for a life in the shadows. As a member of the Guild, she's vowed to mercilessly hunt werewolves or die trying. But when one approaches her, claiming to know her missing father's fate, she decides to do the unthinkable - work with one of the very monsters she's sworn to destroy. Dean Mason is a man living with a curse, doing whatever he can to keep the beast inside from sating its bloodlust under the light of the full moon. When a chance meeting offers a tantalizing glimpse of a potential cure, he'll do anything to end the nightmare.

My name's Tamara Bentley and lately everything I touch turns to crap. My best friend is missing, I was forced to kill my favorite aunt...oh, and my parents have been kidnapped by the queen of the fairies. It's enough to give a person a complex. There's no time to drown my sorrows, though. I've got two warring factions to contend with. Neither the witches nor the werewolves like me, much less respect me, but somehow I need to rally them to my cause if I'm to have any chance of rescuing my parents.

My name's Tamara Bentley, and I should be happy to be heading home for the holidays. Too bad tensions between the supernatural forces surrounding my hometown are at an all-time high - witches and werewolves, ancient enemies who would happily slaughter each other. One side fears me, the other doesn't know I exist, and I aim to keep it that way, lest they both decide to find common ground in killing me.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, oddly enough, my lack of heartbeat is probably the least concerning thing in my life right now. My witch girlfriend has been marked for death by a vampire temptress who wants me for herself. With both sides spoiling for a fight, the chances of them talking out their problems over tea are slim.

Watching my friends die was hard. Getting blown up right after was even worse. But that's nothing compared to waking up to the mother I never knew and finding out she's a monster far worse than anything I've faced so far. Now, not only is she trying to set me up with every eligible demon between here and Hades, but she's busy plotting the demise of my best friend Gary—setting us up on a collision course for a battle to the death. All I want is to escape her clutches and get back to my life, but with a supernatural war brewing that might not be possible.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being a legendary predator of the night, I’m not having the best of days. My girlfriend is trapped in another dimension, my apartment’s being staked out by werewolves, and to top it all off I’m flat broke. Too bad there’s no rest for the wicked. Monstrous beasts of biblical proportions have been unleashed upon the world, leaving me with a mighty big question. How the hell is one poor-ass vampire supposed to stop something the size of a battleship?

My name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause.

My name is Sally. For over thirty years I’ve stalked the night, a slave to the vampire nation. I’ve walked among you – a wolf in sheep’s clothing – committing countless atrocities in their name. Now, on the eve of Armageddon, I’ve been offered a chance for redemption, however slim. My past has caught up to me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth. I’ll need to seek out those responsible for my turning and confront them once and for all. I’m outnumbered and outgunned, but they’re dead wrong if they think I’m outclassed.