Showing results by narrator "Joe Hempel" in All Categories

If you're sick and tired of feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, and desperately want to make a change, grab your copy of The Time Management Solution today. Reclaim control of your time. Optimize your daily schedule, get more done with less stress, and finally enjoy the healthy work-life balance you deserve!

Thirty years ago, cynical sleaze ball director Tito Bronze took a tiny cast and crew to a desolate island. His goal: to exploit the local tribes, spray some guts around, cash in on the gore-spattered 80s Italian cannibal craze. But the pissed-off spirits of the island had other ideas. And before long, guts were squirting behind the scenes, as well.

When the priest he's known his entire life is run down on the streets of Naples, Detective Dillon Storm sets out to get to the bottom of who was behind the horrible hit-and-run. The deeper he gets, though, the more he realizes it might not have been an accident, and that the truth might lead him down a rabbit hole he'll never escape from.

In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer".

When Vince Carter takes a shortcut to work, he notices a billboard that nearly sends him into an oncoming van. The ad is for Dream Woods, New England's answer to Disney World. It closed decades ago, but now that it's back in business, Vince is eager to take his whole family, hoping the magic he remembers will save his failing marriage.

It takes a lot of commitment to make a marriage between a modern ceremonial magician and a chaos witch work, but when a malevolent entity takes up residence in Rhys and Moira's home, their love will be pushed to the limits. Brewing up a solution is easier said than done when your magical styles are polar opposites; throw a psychic ex and a secret society in the mix, and things are bound to get messy.

Somewhere out in the woods an otherworldly creature born of fire and hate lurks. When the beast emerges, lusting for blood, all that stands between it and the nearby town is a grief-stricken farmer. Supernatural ferocity meets backwoods ingenuity in a horror fable of good versus evil.

When two teenagers go missing from the small, rural town of Sallow Bend, the residents come together to search for them. Little do they suspect that finding the wayward girls will be the start of their problems. An old evil is rising, and only one man seems to realize that everyone is in danger and this is not the first time it’s happened. With the carnival in town, people want to have a good time, but for many, this will be the worst time of their lives.

When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.

You can’t have a good tale of monster hunting without monsters. And sometimes the monsters don’t need to be hunted. Sometimes it’s fun sitting back at minimum safe distance and watching the mayhem.

Newly retired from the FBI and alone after the tragic death of his wife, Cliff Knowles takes up geocaching. While looking for a cache in the mountains, he comes across a human skeleton and reports it to the sheriff's office. Then a second body is found - a fresh corpse this time - right after Cliff found another geocache nearby. When it turns out the first remains are those of a fugitive he was supposed to arrest years earlier, he becomes a suspect in a multiple homicide investigation.

Bill works full-time, plays by the rules, and still drowns in debt. When the final notice comes, it’s not a court summons—it’s a knock at the door after dinner. The collection agency doesn’t want money. They want blood. Flesh. Pain. And they want it now. Lucas, the man sent to collect, never wanted this job. But in a world where the cost of living is your soul, he’ll do anything to keep his wife and daughters fed—and safe from the same fate. As Bill is dragged into a nightmarish system where debt is paid in gore and suffering, Lucas must confront the horrors he's become complicit in.

When the Most Fascinating Man in the World is murdered in the Most Fascinating Way, reporter Odelia Poole finds herself tangled in a Most Baffling Mystery. Teaming up with her boyfriend, Detective Chase Kingsley, she soon discovers that more “Interesting” Men are crawling out of the woodwork—each with a motive for murder. But which one is the killer? And will they strike again?

Defeat a three-headed fire breathing monster? All in a day's work for the world's only male wizard. Conryu returns to the academy after surviving his first semester by the narrowest of margins. Little does he know the monstrous threats waiting for him in the second half of the year. Back in Sentinel City things aren't progressing any better as the devious Lady Raven plots the city's destruction from her hidden lair. The exciting third book in the Aegis of Merlin series finds Conryu facing an ever-growing list of dangers. Can he conqueror his foes before time runs out?

When megastar Charlie Dieber narrowly survives an assassination attempt, but his bodyguard takes the bullet instead, reporter Odelia Poole—a proud Bedieber—jumps at the chance to help solve the case. Teaming up with Detective Chase Kingsley, she dives into the glitzy (and not-so-glamorous) world of celebrity, secrets, and scandal.

In the fog-enshrouded peaks of the island nation of Nehan, Ran, a newly minted shadow warrior is set loose on a musha shugyo, a wandering quest, whereby he must travel alone and hone his skills. Journeying aboard a merchant vessel, Ran hears tales of a mysterious lord believed to have the dead for his servants. Soon these tales prove all too real as Ran comes to the aid of Jysal, a beautiful sorceress, whose undeveloped power gives her the ability to heal a land - or destroy it.

If you have felt (1) massive relief at cancelled plans, (2) mild annoyance in huge gatherings of strangers, and (3) want to figure out how to socialize better and more effectively without social fatigue, this book is for you - written by someone exactly like you. Introvert Survival Tactics is going to shed light on exactly how you function, and how to use your tendencies to your advantage.

Luke Titan. Esteemed college professor. Genius scientist. Incisive psychiatrist. Brilliant FBI agent. He was all of these things, until he paralyzed one FBI partner and tried to gut another. After waging war on the US government and killing thousands, he's driven his ex-partner, Christian Windsor, to the brink of insanity. Now, Titan is on the run one final time, and Christian will stop at nothing to catch him. Then kill him. But is Luke actually running, or is he putting the final touches on his masterpiece? Is he luring Christian to him so he can finish what he started years ago?

At the edge of Frontier space, renegade Templar Orin Lashra has evaded capture by the Marshals and their premier fighting force, the Lancers. Darting across the colonies, Lasher and his friends wage a brutal war against the Seven Seats cartel for their part in the murder of the woman he called mother. Lasher’s relentless pursuit of vengeance soon draws the attention of the Gun Wraith, a mysterious mercenary intent on taking Orin for a client who considers his capture a no-fail mission.

Evil Is Closer Than You Think. You should be celebrating the happiest night of your life. Instead, churches burn, suicides spread like wildfire, and brutal murders tear through your town. What begins as an engagement celebration quickly descends into hell on earth. When your fiancée becomes possessed by Satan himself, you are forced to make impossible choices, each one pulling you deeper into darkness. The Devil does not just want her soul. He wants yours. Can you resist his influence and save the woman you love, or will you give in to the evil already growing inside you?