Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Sleep" in All Categories

In Antarctica, a research expedition discovers an ancient structure buried deep in the ice. In Indonesia, a genetics researcher identifies a breakthrough treatment for autism. But these two incredible discoveries aren't what they seem. They will set off a race to unravel the deepest secrets of human existence—the true history of human origins. And an event that could change humanity forever.

The adventure continues. Tim and the C and C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.

I was once a mighty Paladin of Darkness, mother of all the Elements. The one and only of my kind. Some called me the chosen one, a savior destined to rescue the world; others insisted I would be its downfall. I never got the chance to discover who was right. Society conspired with the traitors to trap me in the deadly Element of Time. But a year later, I managed to break free . . . wait, how has it been 700 years?

His experiment shouldn't have wrecked his lab, created a portal to another dimension, or sucked him through said portal. Despite all that, Charles Smith found himself landing atop the emissary of an evil group of mages called the Shadow Council. Literally on top of him, along with half the gear from his lab, which had the fortunate side-effect of turning the evil sorcerer into paste.

High in the Canadian Rockies is a small limestone quarry formed 530 million years ago called the Burgess Shale. It holds the remains of an ancient sea where dozens of strange creatures lived—a forgotten corner of evolution preserved in awesome detail. In this book, Stephen Jay Gould explores what the Burgess Shale tells us about evolution and the nature of history.

This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.

This is a collection of the first six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes "Cave of the Kobolds"; "Zombie Attack"; "Orcs, Bears, and Assholes"; "Shipfaced"; "Dungeon Crawl"; and "The Creep on the Borderlands".

Calexa Acura and her crew of misfits are lost, and their ship is in desperate need of repairs. When a massive spacecraft appears in their radius, they're helpless to resist its magnetic pull. The terrifying ship is bigger than any craft she's seen in her life, and somehow, she doubts its occupants will turn out to be the friendly sort. First Encounters are always better when they're amicable, but if necessary, Calexa and her crew will fight.

This irreverent guide to chaos magic emphasizes experimentation and finding out what works best for you. Andrieh Vitimus presents a revolutionary hands-on course of study for the average Jane or Joe. Vitimus banishes the severe tone of other esoteric orders, offering an accessible and practical approach that makes it easier to perform successful chaos magic that is uniquely your own.

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble...and a gnome...and an undead midget.

This is a collection of the third six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.

Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz.

This is a collection of the eighth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: This Poo Shall Pass, Hung Ogre, Fortune Favors the Kobold, Asses to Asses, Love on the Rocs, and The Winds of Cooper. If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

So, let's take stock. I rebuilt the district. Made enemies disappear. Gained allies. Put the Shadow Clan back on the map. By now, I should've earned a break. Naturally, that's when the real trouble starts. Some people preferred us powerless—silent, broken, easy to control. Now Marcus the Paladin is back in their way, and they're done playing fair. The next wave of enemies doesn't want war. They want erasure. But if they think I'm going quietly, they haven't been paying attention. Let's see who steps up next—and how far they're willing to fall.

I took control of the Shadow Clan, giving the district's residents something they hadn't had in years—a chance to breathe freely. Independence, protection, and a shot at a normal life. But to the rest of society, the Shadow Clan was still nothing more than a den of killers, criminals, and thieves. They despised us. They refused to leave us alone. And worst of all? They underestimated us.

This is a collection of the ninth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Look Before You Leak, Bred Dwarf, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Alcoholic Gnome, Don't Get Too Athached, Fool's Gold, and Kiss My Cloaca.

A collection of absurdist and thought-provoking stories from the author's Return to the Dirt, Just Speculating, and more, including unreleased, exclusive, audio-only content! Performed by a cast of award-winning and Audie® nominated narrators. Fans of the macabre, dark humor, and cerebral thrillers are guaranteed a good listen. Occupational Hazards is an unflinching ride through the absurdity of it all. Existentialism, absurdism, and outlandish humor merge with ordinary, workaday life for a truly unique perspective of the human experience. Not recommended for the faint of heart or easily offended. But if meaty stories are what you're after....We hope you're hungry.