Robert G. Barrett

Les Norton is not finding much joy in his search for the missing fim script. Especially not while fighting a sadistic giant, when the only thing that can save him is the Mongolian Death Lock....

Les figured by tossing $50,000 into the Gull's movie he'd become the next Sam Goldwyn. Only someone put a bomb on the film set. And who gets the blame? Now Norton's a fugitive from the law, desperate to prove his innocence.

Les always wanted to visit Port Stephens. And nobody liked Fishcake Fishbyrne that much anyway. The first night in town, Les gets arrested by the federal police then collared by a drug-crazed, feminist author.

Arranging the hit on Fabio was a low act, and Les knew it. And when you get Sydney's deadliest killer to do the hit, there's always a quid pro quo. In this case, Les had to take a trip to Nimbin in NSW to help an old army mate of Eddie Salita's open a bar, the Double L Ranch.

Les Norton, a big red-headed country boy from Queensland, has just arrived in the big smoke and is set to make his mark....

Just when everything was going so good, Les slips a disc in his back. He can't run, he can't train. He can't do anything much. But he can still drive his car....

There's no two ways about Les Norton – the carrot-topped country boy who works as a bouncer at Sydney's top illegal casino. He's tough and he's mean. He's got a granite jaw, fists like hams, and they say the last time he took a tenner from his wallet Henry Lawson blinked at the light.

Les thought that playing minder to Peregrine Normanhurst III sounded like a dead-set snack: Les would keep Peregrine out of trouble. So what if he was on the run from the IRA? They'd never follow him to Australia...

What should have been a quick gig on a radio station followed by a white-water rafting holiday in Cairns finishes up a mud-soaked four-wheel drive trip to Cooktown with Norton looking for two missing scuba divers.

Norton needed a holiday - anywhere - as long as it was out of Bondi. Price was only too willing to oblige - Les could have his house at Terrigal...

Les is back and on the detox. All it took was a summer's day and a flat tire on his push-bike, and Les is out on bail and on the run from a gun-happy street gang intent on a drive-by...

It isn't every day you help murder someone with poison in an illegal casino, whisk his body halfway across town in a Rolls Royce after robbing him....

All Les Norton wanted was a quiet coffee and Sacher cake at the Hakoah Club in Bondi, and to be left alone to sort out his troubled love life....

They don't call him Lucky Les for nothing. A ticket in a raffle and Norton was off to the US of A, where it turned out hot, red hot, and it wasn't just the weather....

Okay, so it looks like the Kelly Club is finally closing down - it had to happen sooner or later.....

Robert G. Barrett is a self-confessed antagoniser of the literary elite and a master of political incorrectness. For more than a decade now, Robert G. Barrett has been entertaining Australians with the cocky Queenslander Les Norton and his outrageous exploits.

There were two bodies buried under the handball courts at the Bondi baths. The man to get them out? Major Garrick Lewis, aka, The Gecko.....

Les Norton's Hawaiian holiday should have been just like in the tourist brochures. Balmy days, blue seas, palm tress swaying in the moonlight. And it would have been if Les had minded his own business....

Aussie Vietnam veteran Ron Milne is on a good thing growing Indian hemp on the tiny Micronesian island of Lan Laroi....

Les Norton's in town and he feels like dancing. Extreme Polo. The wildest game on water. That's what it said on TV. All Les had to do was drive down to Wagga Wagga for an old mate who owed him a favour, Neville (Nizegy) Nixon, and pick up the Murrumbidgee Mud Crabs.