Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we learn that Instacart is a gamble, the ocean is actually just monster soup, and apparently there is a correct way to say “Walmart.” Spoiler: if you don’t put The in front of it, then you’re crazy.

In this episode we skip normal conversation altogether and jump right into the chaos you'd expect: our trust issues with grocery stores, outfit critiques, and whether dressing for success includes joggers, New Balance sneakers, and absolutely zero shame. From there it turns into a full investigation into things we thought were fancy growing up (if y’all had that Sonic ice in your homes, then you were living in LUXURY) and how one bad wave in the Bahamas can ruin your relationship with the entire ocean forever. Sorry, monster soup.

Naturally, things only get more unhinged. We debate caramel vs caramel, sprite vs sprat, pants vs britches, and why some people clearly skipped pre-K and it shows. There’s also a deep dive into screen time, TikTok algorithms, and the very real theory that Apple is personally sabotaging your phone battery every September.

And of course, Cousin Counsel does not disappoint. We’re talking dead goldfish funerals, potentially alive hamsters getting launched into the woods (like guys what?), and why some people absolutely should not be trusted with pets… or decisions… or honestly anything.

If you’ve ever argued about how to pronounce a word, refused to get in the ocean because something might eat you, or said “womp womp” to a hate comment and moved on with your life, this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week the champagne takes over and causes us to have a full breakdown of why TJ Maxx is a hostile environment.

We kick things off with Riley’s attempt at a “new year, new me” era that lasted exactly one treadmill session before he nearly launched himself through the wall and decided the couch was a safer long-term investment. From there, we spiral into Cracker Barrel’s attempted rebrand (which should’ve constituted jail time), why some things should never be modernized, and the deep emotional attachment to biscuits served by someone with at least five stars on their apron.

Somewhere in the middle, we debate Landon’s strict office hours, why phone calls feel like a personal attack, and how Riley manages to call 12–14 times a day and still get ignored. There are also strong opinions about never leaving the apartment, DoorDash being a lifestyle choice, and whether opening your blinds counts as going outside.

We also get into apartment life, including neighbors who refuse to close their blinds, a dog that sounds like it could end your life, and a bird that won’t shut up. Like seriously y’all what are we doing. Let the guy fly away.

And because no topic is too small, we end up in a very heated argument about TJ Maxx, thrift stores, Walmart behavior, and why if you don’t put things back where you found them, you might be the problem.

And don’t fret, we answered your burning questions for Cousin Counsel and yet again y’all make us question if you guys have lost your sanity.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

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Bloodline Banter:

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Landon Mauk:

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

YouTube – (‪https://www.youtube.com/@TheCastCollective)

Instagram – (https://www.instagram.com/TheCastCollective)

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This week on Bloodline Banter, it’s the recap you all have been waiting for… the seven-day cruise has concluded (much to our dismay) and boy, do we have some stories for y’all.

We talk buffet strategy, the 33,000 eggs the ship went through in one week, and why calories do not count in international waters. Landon explains why he would absolutely clock a grandma to get to a lifeboat if things went south, Riley discusses his close personal relationship with chicken tenders and honey mustard, and we debate whether cruises are actually about the ports or just about eating every two hours. Which we think y’all know the answer to…

As we recount our glory days at sea we share stories from Cozumel taco trucks, an aggressively hands-on shot girl at Señor Frogs, and the mystery of Belize’s off-brand chicken tenders that tasted like they were blended before they were fried.

We also of course could not forget the cruise characters including Debbie, “The Doctor,” Denise from Seize the Day Travel, and a scooter-driving trivia champion named Bazinga who may have been the highlight of the entire ship. Oh and also honestly Theresa Caputo might need to take a gander at our boat for some lingering spirits because Amy Bradley was not necessarily a cruise character we were looking to encounter.

Cousin Counsel returns as well with some unhinged submissions that prove once again that the internet should probably come with a warning label. And for the record, we’d like to state for the 10000th time that we’re cousins. We feel like we shouldn’t have to keep explaining that at this point, but hey some of y’all are dumber than all get out. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

If you’ve ever gone on vacation just to eat your body weight in buffet food, chased down a white van for tacos in Mexico, or believed chicken tenders are a universal safe food… this episode is for you.

LETS GET SOCIAL:

Bloodline Banter:

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Email - (bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com)

Landon Mauk:

Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@landonmauk)

Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/)

Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@landon.mauk)

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Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3)

Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/)

Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell)

Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)

Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

YouTube – (‪https://www.youtube.com/@TheCastCollective)

Instagram – (https://www.instagram.com/TheCastCollective)

TikTok – (https://www.tiktok.com/@castcollective)