Most marriages don't fall apart overnight.

They drift.

Over time, couples can find themselves feeling more like roommates than spouses—sharing a home, raising kids, managing responsibilities, but slowly losing the closeness and connection they once enjoyed.

In this episode, Chris and Jamie sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage to discuss their journey from disconnection, debt, and considering divorce to building a thriving marriage that has helped thousands of couples around the world.

Tony and Alisa share how a radical challenge became a turning point in their marriage and how that experience eventually led to the creation of their Six Pillars of Intimacy framework.

In this conversation, you'll learn:

• The warning signs that your marriage may be drifting into roommate syndrome
• Why emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacy all matter
• How small cracks can reveal opportunities for growth and healing
• The difference between physical intimacy and sexual intimacy
• Why many couples focus on weaknesses instead of strengths
• How to create more connection in every season of marriage
• Practical ways to begin rebuilding intimacy and trust

If your marriage feels disconnected, discouraged, or stuck, this episode will give you hope and a practical roadmap for moving forward together.

00:00 Meet Tony and Alisa

02:12 How the Podcast Began

04:56 Marriage Struggles and Drift

10:03 Red Flags of Roommates

12:37 Why Six Pillars Matter

16:58 The 60 Day Sex Challenge

24:22 Vulnerability and Ripple Effects

28:00 Start Small With God

28:43 The Touchy Feely Mask

29:37 Six Pillars Explained

31:12 Identity Blocks Growth

34:11 Stages Of Life Touch

36:39 Cracks Become Growth

41:43 Define Intimacy Not Sex

43:21 Quick Pillar Rundown

47:45 Free Quiz And Next Steps

51:30 Six Pillars At Sea

54:20 Final Thanks And Wrap

🔔 Subscribe for more Christian marriage encouragement and practical relationship advice.

📚 Learn more about Tony and Alisa, their book, the assessment, and their offerings:
https://oneextraordinarymarriage.com

Have we outgrown marriage?

A growing movement says yes.

Some are calling for a "Marriage 2.0"—a version of marriage that prioritizes personal fulfillment, individual happiness, renewable contracts, and self-preservation over lifelong commitment.

It sounds appealing.

It even contains pieces of truth.

But is it actually better?

In this episode, Chris and Jamie examine the growing Marriage 2.0 movement and compare its ideas to God's design for marriage.

You'll discover why many modern marriage solutions are actually reactions to unhealthy marriages rather than improvements on God's design, why self-focused relationships often leave people more miserable, and how biblical marriage provides the security, commitment, and growth we were created for.

In This Episode:

• What Marriage 2.0 teaches
• Why culture keeps reinventing marriage
• The difference between self-care and self-centeredness
• Why marriage isn't broken—people are
• The dangers of conditional commitment
• The role of sacrifice in healthy relationships
• Healthy boundaries vs selfish demands
• Why security matters in marriage
• God's design for lifelong covenant love

Scriptures Mentioned:

• Matthew 16:25
• Genesis 2:24
• Philippians 2:3-4
• Ephesians 5:21-33
• Romans 12:2
• James 1:22

00:21 Marriage 2.0 Pitch

01:34 Truth Twisted

02:17 Overcorrection Culture

03:05 Sacrifice And Boundaries

05:52 Identity In Christ

06:07 Self Focus Fails

09:07 Two Become One

12:33 Mutual Submission

17:21 Passive Vs Controlling

17:48 Core Claims Breakdown

19:42 Reject Self Erasure

20:52 Growth Not Threat

21:47 Private Over Public

21:51 Private vs Public Marriage

22:14 Healthy Conflict and Boundaries

22:46 Boundaries Not Entitlement

23:52 Stop Enabling Patterns

25:17 Introducing Marriage 2.0 Article

26:29 Debunking Lifespan Claims

30:18 Attraction vs Biblical Love

33:29 Internet Age Marriage Myths

36:01 Self Focus and Divorce Rates

39:20 Contract Marriage Critique

42:39 Anxiety and Need for Security

44:20 Prayer and Closing Resources

Contact us at email@expeditionmarriage.org or find marriage resources at https://expeditionmarriage.org

Have you ever noticed that almost every message coming at you today is telling you that something is wrong?

Your body could be better.
Your house could be better.
Your marriage could be better.
Your spouse could be better.
You could be better.

The world profits from your discontentment.

In this episode, Chris and Jamie unpack how social media, self-help culture, comparison, and constant self-improvement messaging are robbing us of contentment, gratitude, peace, and joy.

You'll discover why the endless pursuit of "better" often leaves us feeling worse, how these messages affect our marriages, and what Scripture teaches about finding peace in Christ instead of constantly striving for more.

In This Episode:

• Why social media thrives on making you feel inadequate
• How comparison steals joy from your marriage
• The difference between healthy growth and unhealthy obsession
• Why contentment is becoming a lost spiritual discipline
• How discontentment affects your nervous system
• Why acceptance and growth can coexist in marriage
• What Paul teaches us about contentment from a prison cell
• How gratitude changes the way we experience our relationships

Resources Mentioned:

• Get our FREE 60-Second Blessing Exercise - https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-184-contentment-in-marriage-why-better-is-making-you-miserable
• Work with us: Expedition Marriage Counseling & Coaching - https://expeditionmarriage.org/marriage

00:00 Growth vs Discontentment

00:20 Social Media Insecurity

01:41 Doomscrolling Effects

02:14 Self Help Trap

03:25 Better Makes Miserable

04:18 Manufactured Needs

04:55 Brain Seeks Evidence

08:11 Moving Finish Line

09:03 Marriage Comparison Spiral

13:50 Obsessed With Fixing

16:07 Acceptance and ADHD

19:35 Gratitude Focus

20:14 Gratitude Rewires Us

20:35 Why Focus On Suffering

22:09 Negativity Bias And Grace

23:58 Paul On True Contentment

27:47 Peace Over Self Help

29:51 Misusing Philippians 413

31:34 Marriage Acceptance Messages

34:01 Stress Styles And Invitations

36:51 Enemy Steals Contentment

38:46 Prayer Weekly Practice Resource