Ask Rachel anything

Parenting tweens and teens is challenging enough, but when someone in the family becomes seriously ill or dies, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. In all honesty, we Westerners are terrible at talking about death, often avoiding it, so when it comes to talking with teenagers about the subject most of us don't feel equipped.

Many who have suffered a loss, or are suffering a serious illness will tell you that friends often fall away just at the time when they are most valued, because they're embarrassed or uncomfortable about the situation.

In this episode we draw on research, personal experience - and some incredible listener feedback - to discuss how to deal with a serious illness or death when you're raising a teen. We pass on some amazing tips that have made all the difference, and also some awful 'what not to do's'.

The episode is dedicated to the wonderful mum, Sophie Baker and her loving husband and boys, who did an amazing job in very difficult circumstances.

BOOKS:
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs
You Can Stop Humming Now by Daniela Lamas
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
Smoke gets in your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty
The Choice by Edith Eger

Support for kids and young people who are bereaved:

https://winstonswish.org/

https://hospiceofnorthidaho.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Supporting-a-Teen-When-Someone-is-Seriously-Ill.pdf
https://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we-help/advice-support/children-and-young-people/how-to-talk-about-death-with-children-and-teenagers/https://thegoodgriefproject.co.uk/
https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/how-to-talk-about-death
https://whatsyourgrief.com/helping-a-teenager-deal-with-grief-2/
https://elunanetwork.org/resources/talking-to-teens-and-children-about-illness-and-death
https://www.strong4life.com/en/emotional-wellness/emotional-expression/talking-to-kids-and-teens-about-death
https://www.todaysparent.com/family/talking-about-death-with-kids/
https://www.winstonswish.org/support-a-grieving-teenager/
https://www.childbereavementuk.org/information-understanding-grieving-teenagers
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/two-takes-depression/201612/the-dos-and-donts-talking-child-about-death?amp
https://audioboom.com/posts/6858679-talking-to-young-people-about-death-and-dying

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Click here for my blog post and summary of the core skills

Our teenagers are growing up in a world saturated with information, outrage, and algorithms designed to keep them scrolling. As parents, it can feel overwhelming: How do we help our kids navigate AI, social media, fake news, and online manipulation—without either over-controlling them or throwing up our hands?

In this episode, I talk to Dr Maree Davies, senior lecturer at the University of Auckland and author of Teaching Critical Thinking to Teenagers: How kids can be street smart about AI, algorithms, fake news and social media.

Her work is all about making critical thinking accessible to all teenagers, not just the academically gifted. And crucially, she shows how these skills can actually reduce anxiety by giving teens a sense of control over the flood of information they face every day.

We explore:

What critical thinking really is (beyond the academic buzzword) and why the tween and early teen years (11–15) are such a powerful window for learning it

How cognitive bias, schemas, and teenage brain development affect the way young people react to information—especially on social media

Marie’s Street Smarts model for teaching critical thinking at home and in school, starting from a teen’s own story and perspective

How to talk to teens about algorithms, AI, fake news, and influencers in a way that feels respectful, engaging, and non-preachy

The role of relationships, respect, and status in adolescent life—and how we can use these realities to open up richer conversations

Why modelling our own struggles (with phones, news, time management, etc.) is far more powerful than lecturing

Practical question types and conversation prompts that help teens move from emotional reactions to thoughtful, reasoned views

This is one of my favourite recent conversations and I’d love as many people as possible to hear it. These skills matter because our teenagers are being shaped—every day—by forces they often don’t fully understand. Critical thinking isn’t about turning them into cynics; it’s about giving them tools, language, and confidence to question, to evaluate, and, when necessary, to change their minds.

It’s also about strengthening our own connection with them, so that they feel heard, respected, and equipped to take their place in the world as thoughtful, compassionate adults.

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

“My husband is highly critical of the teenagers, gets angry over little things and yells, so I’m having to make up for his behavior, and I often avoid involving him in parenting decisions."

This message came into my Substack. It was a plaintiff request for support and a plea to know how others deal with the problem.

When I posted it (with her permission), a flood of parents said, “This is my life too.”

If you're dealing with high conflict in your home, whether with your teens or your partner, then this is the episode for you.

Conflict navigation specialist, mediator, and divorce coach Masha Rusanov helps us to unpack what really sits behind high‑conflict dynamics at home—especially when one parent is emotionally dysregulated, highly critical, or reactive.

She says:

'We don’t choose our conflicts.
We repeat them.
Until we change the pattern."

Link to my write-up on the topic

In our conversation we explore:

• Why we repeat the same painful conflict patterns (and how to start changing them)
• Masha’s simple but powerful Exhale–Explore–Engage framework you can use in the heat of the moment
• Practical scripts and tools (EAR and BIFF) for navigating a high‑conflict partner
• How to protect your children emotionally, set boundaries, and avoid parentifying them
• Ways to talk to your kids honestly about what’s happening—without overburdening them

If you’ve ever found yourself “making up” for a partner’s behaviour, or trying to keep things calm so your teens feel safe, this conversation is for you.

Masha Rusanov

Repatterned Book

REMINDER: Please don't stay in a situation that is potentially dangerous. This is the national domestic abuse helpline for the UK, but you will likely have one in your country if you're listening somewhere else.

Spotting the signs

• Is your partner jealous and possessive?
• Is he charming one minute and abusive the next?
• Does he tell you what to wear, where to go, who to see?
• Does he constantly put you down?
• Does he play mind games and make you doubt your judgment?
• Does he control your money, or make sure you are dependent on him for everyday things?
• Does he pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to?
• Are you starting to walk on eggshells to avoid making him angry?
• Does he control your access to medicine, devic

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk