A single choice can echo for years. Jen joins us to revisit the 2016 wrong‑way crash that killed two of her husband Joe’s officers, the survivor guilt that took root, and the quiet self‑doubt that followed him back to work and into their home. We move through the 2020 assault where Joe was ambushed and bitten, the sleepless nights and nightmares that wouldn’t let go, and the cultural whiplash of a year when COVID isolation and civil unrest turned pride in the badge into constant hypervigilance. Along the way, we talk candidly about how “routine” decisions can create moral injury, why standard debriefs often miss the family, and what spouses can watch for when a loved one keeps circling the same names and scenes months later.

The day Joe died looked painfully normal: coffee on the deck, a lunchtime walk, a casual comment about burial framed as safety talk, and a quick trip for sodas. Jen found him in the car, steps from their front door. She takes us through the immediate chaos, the officers who stood up to help, and the moments that still hurt; like promised honors that never came. We also dig into policy and progress: how Public Safety Officer Benefits now recognize certain suicides as line‑of‑duty deaths, why that matters for dignity and support, and how departments can do better by educating families, tracking delayed stress responses, and normalizing confidential care.

This conversation is raw and practical. We highlight resources like First Help (https://1sthelp.org/). If you wear a badge or love someone who does, this story offers language, tools, and hope. If you’re struggling, call 988, and if you need a softer first step, reach out to us. Subscribe, share this with a friend in the field, and leave a review to help more first responder families find the support they deserve.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
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Start with a prayer and you change the room. That’s how we welcomed Jennifer Morgan, widow of Sgt. Joe Morgan, to help us tell a story that holds both love and the hard parts most people won’t name out loud. We talk about a fast dance neither of them could dance, a phone number scribbled on paper, and the way a calling to serve can fill a life with purpose while quietly piling up weight you don’t notice until it’s too heavy to lift alone.

Jen walks us through Joe’s path from Cedar Rapids to small-town chief in Oxford Junction to Des Moines, where he found his home on the east side. He loved the work: the people, the midnight calls, the teachable moments for younger officers. We revisit his officer-involved shooting, the late-night knock at the door, and the uneasy fact that the suspect had no gun. Policy said justified; Joe said he wouldn’t hesitate again. That resolve carried him—and it also made it easy for those who loved him to believe everything was fine. We talk honestly about spousal blind spots, the stories cops keep to protect their families, and the way support fades when the headlines do.

As a supervisor, Joe took pride in mentoring and staying where the action was, but leadership adds a second backpack of stress. Night shifts, disrupted sleep, and constant vigilance wear down even the best. We also share lighter moments - Joe’s COPS appearances, including the infamous stuck-on-the-tracks scene - because a full life holds laughter right next to pain.

We close by honoring Joe plainly and setting up part two. If you’ve ever felt the weight of the badge - or loved someone who wears it - this conversation is a hand on your shoulder and an open chair at the kitchen table. Listen, share it with someone who needs it, and help us change the culture one honest talk at a time. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what brave conversation you’re starting today.

Check out the resource attached below that helped Jen navigate her husband's suicide.

https://1sthelp.org/

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

*****EXPLICIT LANGUAGE*****

What if the tools that once kept you sane start making the noise louder? Gilbert’s story begins with teenage coaching sessions and Marine Corps discipline, then moves into six years as a deputy where fitness and grit felt like enough; until they weren’t. He talks about learning the job under pressure, trying to be the kind of cop he didn’t meet as a kid, and why the post-2020 climate turned good police work into a political minefield. The honesty lands hard: you can do everything right and still carry a weight your body can’t burn off.

The heart of this conversation is loss and what followed. After his friend Tom, a Marine and deputy, died by suicide, mentors nudged Gilbert into a therapist’s office he swore he didn’t need.

There’s also a turn many won’t expect. Raised Catholic, Gilbert walked away from belief during his service, especially while working child sex crimes. A first responder retreat reframed everything; not as arguments, but as guidance. One line from Jeremiah about finding rest by giving allegiance to God hit like a key in a lock. Around a campfire, he saw a simple image: God waiting at the door, patient, not pushy. Saying yes didn’t erase questions; it restored rest. That shift didn’t replace therapy or training; it braided them together with purpose.

Gilbert shares where to find his podcast, his book on Amazon, and his online coaching that helps first responders and anyone build sustainable fitness aligned with real life. The throughline is freedom: you’re allowed to change chapters, trade pension math for purpose, and choose a community that lets you ask hard questions while you heal. If you’ve been carrying it alone, press play, take what helps, and share this with someone who needs a handhold today. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what line stayed with you.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project