A single choice can echo for years. Jen joins us to revisit the 2016 wrong‑way crash that killed two of her husband Joe’s officers, the survivor guilt that took root, and the quiet self‑doubt that followed him back to work and into their home. We move through the 2020 assault where Joe was ambushed and bitten, the sleepless nights and nightmares that wouldn’t let go, and the cultural whiplash of a year when COVID isolation and civil unrest turned pride in the badge into constant hypervigilance. Along the way, we talk candidly about how “routine” decisions can create moral injury, why standard debriefs often miss the family, and what spouses can watch for when a loved one keeps circling the same names and scenes months later.

The day Joe died looked painfully normal: coffee on the deck, a lunchtime walk, a casual comment about burial framed as safety talk, and a quick trip for sodas. Jen found him in the car, steps from their front door. She takes us through the immediate chaos, the officers who stood up to help, and the moments that still hurt; like promised honors that never came. We also dig into policy and progress: how Public Safety Officer Benefits now recognize certain suicides as line‑of‑duty deaths, why that matters for dignity and support, and how departments can do better by educating families, tracking delayed stress responses, and normalizing confidential care.

This conversation is raw and practical. We highlight resources like First Help (https://1sthelp.org/). If you wear a badge or love someone who does, this story offers language, tools, and hope. If you’re struggling, call 988, and if you need a softer first step, reach out to us. Subscribe, share this with a friend in the field, and leave a review to help more first responder families find the support they deserve.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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Start with a prayer and you change the room. That’s how we welcomed Jennifer Morgan, widow of Sgt. Joe Morgan, to help us tell a story that holds both love and the hard parts most people won’t name out loud. We talk about a fast dance neither of them could dance, a phone number scribbled on paper, and the way a calling to serve can fill a life with purpose while quietly piling up weight you don’t notice until it’s too heavy to lift alone.

Jen walks us through Joe’s path from Cedar Rapids to small-town chief in Oxford Junction to Des Moines, where he found his home on the east side. He loved the work: the people, the midnight calls, the teachable moments for younger officers. We revisit his officer-involved shooting, the late-night knock at the door, and the uneasy fact that the suspect had no gun. Policy said justified; Joe said he wouldn’t hesitate again. That resolve carried him—and it also made it easy for those who loved him to believe everything was fine. We talk honestly about spousal blind spots, the stories cops keep to protect their families, and the way support fades when the headlines do.

As a supervisor, Joe took pride in mentoring and staying where the action was, but leadership adds a second backpack of stress. Night shifts, disrupted sleep, and constant vigilance wear down even the best. We also share lighter moments - Joe’s COPS appearances, including the infamous stuck-on-the-tracks scene - because a full life holds laughter right next to pain.

We close by honoring Joe plainly and setting up part two. If you’ve ever felt the weight of the badge - or loved someone who wears it - this conversation is a hand on your shoulder and an open chair at the kitchen table. Listen, share it with someone who needs it, and help us change the culture one honest talk at a time. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what brave conversation you’re starting today.

Check out the resource attached below that helped Jen navigate her husband's suicide.

https://1sthelp.org/

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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Youtube: @1042project
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*****EXPLICIT LANGUAGE*****

What if the tools that once kept you sane start making the noise louder? Gilbert’s story begins with teenage coaching sessions and Marine Corps discipline, then moves into six years as a deputy where fitness and grit felt like enough; until they weren’t. He talks about learning the job under pressure, trying to be the kind of cop he didn’t meet as a kid, and why the post-2020 climate turned good police work into a political minefield. The honesty lands hard: you can do everything right and still carry a weight your body can’t burn off.

The heart of this conversation is loss and what followed. After his friend Tom, a Marine and deputy, died by suicide, mentors nudged Gilbert into a therapist’s office he swore he didn’t need.

There’s also a turn many won’t expect. Raised Catholic, Gilbert walked away from belief during his service, especially while working child sex crimes. A first responder retreat reframed everything; not as arguments, but as guidance. One line from Jeremiah about finding rest by giving allegiance to God hit like a key in a lock. Around a campfire, he saw a simple image: God waiting at the door, patient, not pushy. Saying yes didn’t erase questions; it restored rest. That shift didn’t replace therapy or training; it braided them together with purpose.

Gilbert shares where to find his podcast, his book on Amazon, and his online coaching that helps first responders and anyone build sustainable fitness aligned with real life. The throughline is freedom: you’re allowed to change chapters, trade pension math for purpose, and choose a community that lets you ask hard questions while you heal. If you’ve been carrying it alone, press play, take what helps, and share this with someone who needs a handhold today. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what line stayed with you.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
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What if the fastest way to quiet a racing mind starts with a slow walk? Our own journeys from duty-focused fitness to recovery-focused movement highlight a simple truth: when the goal shifts from performance to regulation, exercise becomes more sustainable and more helpful.

We talk about redefining fitness after law enforcement, when strength once felt like armor and speed felt like survival. We share stories about injuries, overtraining, and the post-achievement crash that hits after big races or PRs. The fix isn’t another extreme plan; it’s flexibility, grace, and small, repeatable wins that stabilize your week.

If trauma is stored in the body, the body must be part of the solution. You’ll hear practical ways to start when you are struggling: 10-minute outdoor walks, easy strength sessions that end with energy left, and nature time. We also cover how to navigate busy seasons, break the all-or-nothing mindset, and build routines that feel good on ordinary days, not just finish-line moments.

Walk away with realistic steps that fit your life: less pressure, more presence, and movement that supports your mental health instead of draining it. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review - then tell us: what small step are you taking this week?

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
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From the moment the phone rang to a crowded ER stacked with pizza boxes and uniforms, we walk through the shock, the community response, and the hard, slow road that followed. Breanna shares the realities many first responder families face.

We talk about what happens after the headlines fade—months of recovery, returning to duty, and ride-alongs that reopened wounds with a child death call and an armed domestic. When the job no longer fit, retirement arrived sooner than planned. At home, stress rewired their marriage: resentment, overwork, and a sense of living on two separate trains. Breanna names the darkest moment, a medication-triggered spiral into suicidal ideation, and the grace that broke it—a late-night glance at the person who was still her safe place. That moment led her to First Responder Support Network and the WCPR spouse retreat, where a patient chaplain, daily chapel, and peers offered tools that actually translate to home.

You’ll hear simple, durable practices: asking “comfort or solutions,” naming love languages, setting boundaries around triggers, and learning to say what you need instead of hoping your partner reads your mind. We offer practical advice for spouses of first responders, from seeking your own therapy to choosing intensive retreats when weekly sessions aren’t enough. This story is honest about anger and distance, and it’s just as honest about repair, faith rekindled, and a marriage that now feels like a true partnership.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs proof that healing is possible. Subscribe for more real conversations with first responder families, and leave a review to help others find these resources and stories.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

The story starts with a simple truth: substances feel like solutions when your identity is shaky and your heart is hurting. Jake opens up about finding alcohol in middle school, wearing the “party guy” mask to fit in, and living a double life as an athlete whose status hid deeper fractures. When college stripped away the sports identity, the spiral accelerated. A minor but piercing moment—getting fired from a part-time job—triggered a deeper look. AA offered structure, but six months of white-knuckling sobriety proved that behavior change without heart change doesn’t last.

Everything shifted with a hesitant, unpolished prayer. On his bedroom floor, Jake asked for help, and a quiet peace answered. That moment powered 14 years of sobriety sustained by meetings, service, and a budding spirituality. But without ongoing care—prayer, Scripture, community—the roots dried out. Law enforcement trauma, family pain, and isolation pulled him away from God, and fear held him sober until PTSD cornered him into a false choice: disappear or numb. Weed to sleep became drinks to forget, and daily use returned with the same old promises that never deliver.

Then came August 12. Jake describes a sudden return of God’s presence that he didn’t earn and couldn’t explain. Since then, he’s rebuilding guardrails that protect peace: honest prayer, counseling, a pastor’s steady wisdom, and friends who show up to pray rather than pour. We speak candidly about dopamine and ADHD, why numbing is seductive but destructive, and how surrender outperforms self-will. The throughline is hope: you are not your addiction, and recovery grows where truth, community, and faith intersect with action.

If you’re stuck in the loop, you don’t have to run. Stand. Reach out to us and we’ll walk with you—without shame, with real help, and with a reminder that freedom is possible. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find the conversation.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

What if a first responder never had to weather the storm alone? We kick off season four with a live conversation that looks honestly at burnout, isolation, and the stress of the job.

We share how our EQUIP program now reaches recruits across police, fire, EMS, and dispatch, giving new classes the mental, spiritual, and relational tools we wish we had. We expand equine assisted therapy through partners like Godspeed Equine, and we clarify why “volunteers” and “ambassadors” are different: ambassadors are peers with lived experience who answer the call, sit in the chaos, and guide toward help without judgment or department ties. For families, especially spouses carrying secondary trauma, we outline retreats and resources that rebuild trust and communication.

Then we unveil the Refuge; a 100-acre vision near Des Moines with ponds, trails, cottages, and a gear-filled Morton building. Imagine borrowing a camper, kayaks, or side-by-sides and finding a quiet room or a small group ready to listen. Add a barn for gatherings, an education center for trainings and counseling, and a permanent studio to keep stories flowing. It’s not a brochure; it’s a blueprint for healing: clean water time through fishing, running, worship on your commute, painting outside your comfort zone, or riding a horse that helps your nervous system finally exhale.

If this mission resonates—whether you’re a first responder, a spouse, or someone who wants to help—join us. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs hope, and email Dan@10-42project.org to volunteer, become an ambassador, or support the Refuge. Your voice can multiply the message. Your action can change a life.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

Some mornings don’t start with motivation—they start with weight. We open the mic on a day that felt crooked and talk honestly about PTSD flare-ups, addiction recovery, and why a single siren can pull old symptoms back. Instead of hiding the hard parts, we map them: the difference between being tired and being empty, how to choose the right kind of rest, and what it takes to refill when your compassion tank runs dry. Along the way, we share stories from Bible study with recruits, nature walks that quiet the noise, and small choices that turn pain into purpose.

Our conversation keeps circling back to community and faith. Comfort received becomes comfort given; grace on the mountaintop and grace in the valley. You’ll hear how vulnerability builds real connection—online and face-to-face—and why you don’t need perfect days to help someone else. If anything, your scars make you easier to understand. We push back on grind culture, name the lies that grow loud when we isolate, and offer practical tools: box breathing, unplugging, moving at God’s speed, and calling a friend before you retreat.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a setback erases your progress, this is your reminder: healing is messy and still healing. You’re not disqualified by bad days. You belong in a community that will sit with you, pray for you, and cover the work while you rest. Share this with someone who needs a lift, and email Dan at 10-42project.org if you want to connect.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project