everything is either a preparation for the union or the union itself.

now just walking. Every moment is an initiatory portal

I shake when I pick up the texts, I shake with my love, my devotion.

I can’t believe that I have the text right here. I received it

in the proper way. I can see how the teachings were stolen in the past, taken without being given. there is fear, guilt and shame, Some misuse. Somehow he and I participated together. Secret teachings gone awry. confessing and atoning, that is complete. now I walk in the light of day with my love of the teachings and my love of him.

I request the blessing to turn the wheel of dharma

my pure intention for this, for the union with him

the fire of the dakini in the belly melts the concrete view of reality

in the head, and the lotus of compassion grows

in the lake of emptiness that results

every dakini is an electron, orbiting around

the central nucleus of true essence, inchoate Plenitude,

every Buddha has four dakinis, or 10,000, implacable peacefulness, generous guru.

I am guru, I am dakini , the yidam, secret lover,

the one who loves, the one who is beloved, the truest love story

Coming into alignment is an automatic detoxification, purification,

a kind of clash, as the darkness emerges and meets the light,

it comes out swinging and spitting, hitting and grabbing.

More learning, letting it arise without taking over.

Peace, be still, and know that I am God.

I am the ladder of Jewels for the Buddha’s descent from heaven,

I am the Buddha descending on the ladder down to earth

to offer compassion and the teachings, I am the beings

in each of the six realms of Samsara, who immediately

apprehend each other and are deeply stirred to awaken

I am receptive to a full spectrum of light. I am cross pollinated

by many wisdom teachings disseminated by the wise ones

who come and go like the wind, I honor all perspectives.

I appreciate all the various names that the one God-goddess

has acquired through time and human cultures

I am remembering the golden spine inside of its bony housing.

I always reside in the temple of my body. I make offerings of myself.

I made these offerings to him when he came to me here.