We all know how hard it is to change our own behavior—and even harder to convince someone else to change theirs. In this episode, I explore two surprisingly effective ways to work around the ego, reduce resistance, and create real behavioral change.

Along the way, I compare two competing models of personal development: the popular "be, do, have" philosophy that focuses on identity and breakthroughs, and the "do, have, be" approach championed by thinkers like Alex Hormozi, where action comes first and identity follows.

Whether you're trying to improve yourself, influence others, become better at sales, or simply have more productive conversations, these ideas can help you sidestep defensiveness and make change feel less threatening.

Episode Description

I recently challenged myself to make 100 cold calls in 3 days—targeting dental offices, gyms, physical therapy clinics, and veterinary practices. In this episode, I share what actually happened, what surprised me, and what I learned.

If you're starting a business, I make the case that every founder should do 100 cold calls before worrying about websites, logos, or marketing strategies. You'll learn more from talking to real prospects than from weeks of "research."

For this episode, I discuss The Watercourse Way by Alan Watts, a book that explores Daoism through ideas like the Dao, yin-yang polarity, and wu wei—or effortless action.

The biggest theme that stood out to me is that the things we want most often seem to elude us, while the things we care less about arrive naturally. Looking back on my own life, I've repeatedly gone after one outcome—money, business success, achievement—only to receive something entirely different, like better health, meaningful friendships, or personal growth.

The book argues that much of our suffering comes from trying to force life rather than working with it. Instead of viewing reality as something to conquer, Daoism encourages us to move with the natural flow of events, much like water finding its course.

Another idea that resonated with me is that suffering and success often go hand in hand. Many accomplished people seem to go through significant hardship before achieving their greatest results. Rather than resisting difficulty, Daoism suggests that it may be an essential part of growth.

My main takeaway is that life may be less about control and more about alignment. The harder we force outcomes, the more resistance we create. Sometimes the most effective action is not doing more, but learning when to let go and trust the process.

Link to the book: https://amzn.to/4oCA4dC (affiliate)