In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Gill Phillips is joined by Lindsey Douglas – parent carer, advocate and DMI trainer at Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust.

Lindsey speaks with honesty and warmth about family life with her son Grayson, who is autistic, has a severe learning disability and complex needs, and about the journey from crisis and exhaustion to greater understanding, support and hope. She shares what it means to look beyond behaviour, to ask what sits underneath it, and to recognise behaviour as communication.

The episode explores the value of curiosity, the importance of understanding unmet need, and the difference genuine lived experience can make when it is welcomed into the workforce in meaningful ways rather than as a tick-box exercise.

Gill and Lindsey also reflect on the award-winning #CYPWhoseShoes work with Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, the development of new Whose Shoes? resources around supporting children and young people, and specifically those with SEND and neurodivergence, and how Staffordshire partners used these conversations to help shape their SEND strategy.

This is a rich conversation about co-production, trust, family life, young carers, practical support, and the power of bringing parent carers and professionals together in ways that build understanding rather than blame.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs from this episode

💡 A child who seems like a “dream baby” may actually be missing early interaction and communication cues.

💡 Behaviour is not “bad behaviour” to be controlled. It is often communication of distress, pain or unmet need.

💡 Curiosity changes everything. Instead of asking “How do we stop this?”, ask “What is this telling us?”

💡 Diagnostic overshadowing is dangerous. Not everything is about neurodivergence; sometimes a child is simply in pain.

💡 Parent carers are often managing extreme risk at home without the training professionals receive.

💡 Lived experience can break down barriers fast, because trust grows when people feel truly understood.

💡 Co-production is not asking people to comment on a finished plan. It means shaping it together from the start.

💡 Whose Shoes? works because the cards create safer, less confrontational conversations about difficult issues.

💡 Supporting one child well means supporting the whole family, including siblings and young carers.

💡 Sometimes the bravest family decision is to choose peace over social expectations.

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

What does hospice care really look like?

What if hospice care isn't about the end of life - but about helping people live well for as long as possible?

In this special Podcasthon episode of Wild Card – Whose Shoes?, Gill Phillips visits The Myton Hospices in Warwick and brings together the voices of staff, volunteers, families and community supporters who make the hospice what it is.

Podcasthon is a global initiative bringing together thousands of podcasts around the world for one week each year, all dedicating an episode to a charity they care about. The aim is simple: to use the power of podcasting to raise awareness, spark conversations and support organisations doing vital work in their communities.

Totally aligned to 'Whose Shoes?' values.

For Gill, choosing Myton was easy.

Gill's own mum died there in 2017, and the experience further shaped her understanding of what compassionate care really means.

In this episode you’ll hear from Olivia, a registered nurse and Community Engagement Manager, Julie, Senior Staff Nurse, Kay, a Telephone Support Volunteer and volunteer Receptionist, Anil, Head of Retail, Holly, Director of Marketing and Communications - and members of the wider community who support Myton in different ways.

Along the way, we discover how hospice care often begins much earlier than people expect. We hear about small moments that make a huge difference for families, from late-night conversations to Prosecco parties, beach days and even a virtual trip to the Grand Canyon.

This episode is about the whole community - we can all play a part.

Because The Myton Hospices isn’t just a place. It’s a network of human kindness.

And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that hospice care is not only about dying well – but about living well for as long as possible.

💡 Hospice care often starts much earlier than people expect – early support can transform people’s experience

💡 Supporting carers helps patients too – helping someone become a daughter or husband again, not just a carer

💡 A hospice isn’t defined by medical tasks – it’s the human moments people remember forever

💡 Creativity makes a difference: motorbikes, beach days and even virtual visits to the Grand Canyon.

💡 Volunteers are often the first friendly voice people hear – and sometimes the one they recognise instantly.

💡 Community support comes in many forms: shops, events, legacies, and organisations finding their own ways to help.

💡 Hospice care is truly holistic – caring for the whole person and the people around them.

💡 Many families say: “We wish we’d known about hospice support sooner.”

💡 When care is compassionate and personal, it can shape not only a good death – but a good bereavement.

LINKS

Welcome to The Myton Hospices

If you enjoy this episode, please share it as part of Podcasthon, helping more people discover the crucial work of hospices.

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

Wild Card - Whose Shoes? Podcast | Mike Nicholson: Progressive Masculinity (and why boys do want to talk)

What if the real issue isn’t that boys don’t talk - but that we rarely create spaces where they feel safe enough to?

In this episode, I’m joined by Mike Nicholson, former English teacher and founder of Progressive Masculinity. I first heard Mike speak at an education conference in Wolverhampton organised by Sarah Milne, and his session stayed with me long afterwards - especially the powerful “mask” exercise exploring how young men feel they must appear versus how they really feel.

Drawing on nearly two decades in the classroom, Mike shares what he saw: thoughtful, capable boys quietly limiting themselves to fit narrow expectations of masculinity - and what changed when they were simply given permission to talk.

We explore:

• Why the idea that boys don’t talk is a myth
• The impact of safe, non-judgemental spaces
• Early intervention and “upstream” prevention
• Online rabbit holes and algorithm-driven risks
• Helping boys decide what kind of men they want to become
• A values-led approach to confidence, identity and belonging

There are strong echoes here of my #CYPWhoseShoes work - listening deeply, understanding different perspectives, and recognising that real change is often felt before it can ever be measured.

🎧 If you have boys or young men in your life - as parents, teachers, grandparents or colleagues - this conversation is well worth a listen.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs from this episode

• Boys don’t avoid talking - they avoid judgement.
• The gap between the “outside mask” and inside feelings is often huge.
• Prevention starts with belonging, not behaviour management.
• Algorithms can take curiosity to harmful places faster than adults realise.
• Listening with young people changes everything.
• Some of the most important outcomes can’t be captured on a spreadsheet.
• If we remove unhealthy spaces, we must create healthier ones.
• Values help young people navigate peer pressure.
• Supporting boys and empowering girls are not opposing goals.
• There isn’t one way to be a man - only the freedom to become yourself.

Links

Progressive Masculinity

Whose Shoes?

Our #CYPWhoseShoes project

#WhoseShoes #WildCardWhoseShoes #CYPWhoseShoes #Belonging #Education #MentalHealth #EarlyIntervention

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.