In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Gill Phillips is joined by Lindsey Douglas – parent carer, advocate and DMI trainer at Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust.

Lindsey speaks with honesty and warmth about family life with her son Grayson, who is autistic, has a severe learning disability and complex needs, and about the journey from crisis and exhaustion to greater understanding, support and hope. She shares what it means to look beyond behaviour, to ask what sits underneath it, and to recognise behaviour as communication.

The episode explores the value of curiosity, the importance of understanding unmet need, and the difference genuine lived experience can make when it is welcomed into the workforce in meaningful ways rather than as a tick-box exercise.

Gill and Lindsey also reflect on the award-winning #CYPWhoseShoes work with Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, the development of new Whose Shoes? resources around supporting children and young people, and specifically those with SEND and neurodivergence, and how Staffordshire partners used these conversations to help shape their SEND strategy.

This is a rich conversation about co-production, trust, family life, young carers, practical support, and the power of bringing parent carers and professionals together in ways that build understanding rather than blame.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs from this episode

💡 A child who seems like a “dream baby” may actually be missing early interaction and communication cues.

💡 Behaviour is not “bad behaviour” to be controlled. It is often communication of distress, pain or unmet need.

💡 Curiosity changes everything. Instead of asking “How do we stop this?”, ask “What is this telling us?”

💡 Diagnostic overshadowing is dangerous. Not everything is about neurodivergence; sometimes a child is simply in pain.

💡 Parent carers are often managing extreme risk at home without the training professionals receive.

💡 Lived experience can break down barriers fast, because trust grows when people feel truly understood.

💡 Co-production is not asking people to comment on a finished plan. It means shaping it together from the start.

💡 Whose Shoes? works because the cards create safer, less confrontational conversations about difficult issues.

💡 Supporting one child well means supporting the whole family, including siblings and young carers.

💡 Sometimes the bravest family decision is to choose peace over social expectations.

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

What does hospice care really look like?

What if hospice care isn't about the end of life - but about helping people live well for as long as possible?

In this special Podcasthon episode of Wild Card – Whose Shoes?, Gill Phillips visits The Myton Hospices in Warwick and brings together the voices of staff, volunteers, families and community supporters who make the hospice what it is.

Podcasthon is a global initiative bringing together thousands of podcasts around the world for one week each year, all dedicating an episode to a charity they care about. The aim is simple: to use the power of podcasting to raise awareness, spark conversations and support organisations doing vital work in their communities.

Totally aligned to 'Whose Shoes?' values.

For Gill, choosing Myton was easy.

Gill's own mum died there in 2017, and the experience further shaped her understanding of what compassionate care really means.

In this episode you’ll hear from Olivia, a registered nurse and Community Engagement Manager, Julie, Senior Staff Nurse, Kay, a Telephone Support Volunteer and volunteer Receptionist, Anil, Head of Retail, Holly, Director of Marketing and Communications - and members of the wider community who support Myton in different ways.

Along the way, we discover how hospice care often begins much earlier than people expect. We hear about small moments that make a huge difference for families, from late-night conversations to Prosecco parties, beach days and even a virtual trip to the Grand Canyon.

This episode is about the whole community - we can all play a part.

Because The Myton Hospices isn’t just a place. It’s a network of human kindness.

And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that hospice care is not only about dying well – but about living well for as long as possible.

💡 Hospice care often starts much earlier than people expect – early support can transform people’s experience

💡 Supporting carers helps patients too – helping someone become a daughter or husband again, not just a carer

💡 A hospice isn’t defined by medical tasks – it’s the human moments people remember forever

💡 Creativity makes a difference: motorbikes, beach days and even virtual visits to the Grand Canyon.

💡 Volunteers are often the first friendly voice people hear – and sometimes the one they recognise instantly.

💡 Community support comes in many forms: shops, events, legacies, and organisations finding their own ways to help.

💡 Hospice care is truly holistic – caring for the whole person and the people around them.

💡 Many families say: “We wish we’d known about hospice support sooner.”

💡 When care is compassionate and personal, it can shape not only a good death – but a good bereavement.

LINKS

Welcome to The Myton Hospices

If you enjoy this episode, please share it as part of Podcasthon, helping more people discover the crucial work of hospices.

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

Wild Card - Whose Shoes? Podcast | Mike Nicholson: Progressive Masculinity (and why boys do want to talk)

What if the real issue isn’t that boys don’t talk - but that we rarely create spaces where they feel safe enough to?

In this episode, I’m joined by Mike Nicholson, former English teacher and founder of Progressive Masculinity. I first heard Mike speak at an education conference in Wolverhampton organised by Sarah Milne, and his session stayed with me long afterwards - especially the powerful “mask” exercise exploring how young men feel they must appear versus how they really feel.

Drawing on nearly two decades in the classroom, Mike shares what he saw: thoughtful, capable boys quietly limiting themselves to fit narrow expectations of masculinity - and what changed when they were simply given permission to talk.

We explore:

• Why the idea that boys don’t talk is a myth
• The impact of safe, non-judgemental spaces
• Early intervention and “upstream” prevention
• Online rabbit holes and algorithm-driven risks
• Helping boys decide what kind of men they want to become
• A values-led approach to confidence, identity and belonging

There are strong echoes here of my #CYPWhoseShoes work - listening deeply, understanding different perspectives, and recognising that real change is often felt before it can ever be measured.

🎧 If you have boys or young men in your life - as parents, teachers, grandparents or colleagues - this conversation is well worth a listen.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs from this episode

• Boys don’t avoid talking - they avoid judgement.
• The gap between the “outside mask” and inside feelings is often huge.
• Prevention starts with belonging, not behaviour management.
• Algorithms can take curiosity to harmful places faster than adults realise.
• Listening with young people changes everything.
• Some of the most important outcomes can’t be captured on a spreadsheet.
• If we remove unhealthy spaces, we must create healthier ones.
• Values help young people navigate peer pressure.
• Supporting boys and empowering girls are not opposing goals.
• There isn’t one way to be a man - only the freedom to become yourself.

Links

Progressive Masculinity

Whose Shoes?

Our #CYPWhoseShoes project

#WhoseShoes #WildCardWhoseShoes #CYPWhoseShoes #Belonging #Education #MentalHealth #EarlyIntervention

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

🎙️ This episode was recorded jointly with the So, Who Cares Anyway? podcast, hosted by Ruth Germaine.

In this warm, wide-ranging episode, I’m chatting to fellow podcaster and Darzi alumna Ruth Germaine to explore what it really takes to tackle healthcare’s “wicked problems” through coproduction.

A powerful invitation to think differently.

Drawing on our shared roots in the Darzi Fellowship network, we reflect on why lived experience, curiosity and relationship-building matter far more than tick-boxes and tidy solutions.

I share my journey from social care and local government, through cancer, to creating Whose Shoes?® - a deceptively simple, colourful board-game approach that opens up honest conversations between people, professionals and those in positions of power. Along the way, we explore the power of poetry, the beach-ball metaphor, and why Whose Shoes scenarios are so open-ended – the discussion will be the one YOU need to have.

Our conversation ranges from maternity services in Buckinghamshire to SEND roadshows and a neonatal unit in Liverpool, illustrating how ‘planting seeds’ can lead to outcomes no one could predict at the start.

We also reflect on the challenge of evidencing impact, the limits of KPIs, and a Whose Shoes hallmark: the pledge - small or bold actions, taken from the heart. #NoHierarchyJustPeople

This is an episode about creativity, courage, and the quiet magic that happens when people feel truly heard.

🍋💡 🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs

1. Co-production isn’t a method - it’s a mindset
   If people don’t genuinely feel valued and listened to, no tool will save you.
2. The answers are in the room
   Real change starts with free-flowing conversations, not a prescriptive agenda
3. You can promise something will happen - just not what
   That uncertainty isn’t a flaw; it’s the essence of true co-production
4. People see through tick-box listening instantly
   You can’t fake curiosity or shortcut trust
5. Creativity creates capacity - even when time is tight
   Fun, colour and poetry don’t distract from serious work; they unlock it
6. Ripples to ... IMPACT!
   A conversation can lead — unexpectedly — to things as big as a new neonatal unit
7. Just because it's countable, doesn't mean it's what matters most
   What matters most (trust, insight, confidence, connection) rarely fits a KPI
8. The best change work draws people in
   When it’s real, people text friends: “Get down here — this is different.”
9. Pledges work because they’re personal
   Small actions “from the heart” beat grand strategies
10. Learning happens with people, not to them
    Networks for learning together generally beat programmes and courses

LINKS

So, Who Cares Anyway? Podcast by Ruth Germaine

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

🎄🎧 A bit of a Christmas cracker (with maverick music included)

A conversation full of humanity.

In this Wild Card – Whose Shoes episode, Gill Phillips chats with Maff Potts, founder of the Camarados movement and creator of Public Living Rooms - simple, welcoming spaces where people can put their feet up, enjoy no-agenda company, and look out for each other.

No labels. No tick boxes. No “fixing”. Just people.

Maff brings stories (and piano!) from his journey: from working in homelessness, to advising government, and very intentionally returning to grassroots connection, where real change happens. Together we explore why kindness, laughter, and belonging aren’t “nice extras” - they’re essential.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon lightbulbs

🍋 “Where would you put the KPI for this?” The case for humanity, music and improvisation over metrics.

🍋 Public Living Rooms = connection + purpose (without needing a “service” or a diagnosis).

🍋 Permission to be a bit rubbish - and why failure/iteration can be a superpower (England vs Silicon Valley!).

🍋 A powerful example of language changing everything: when “Put your feet up” became “It’s time to talk #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek”… footfall dropped from 1000 people to 40.

🍋 The “how” matters: how we welcome, speak, listen, and create environments that help people feel human.

If you’ve ever felt weary of spreadsheets, assessments, and VIP top tables … this episode is for you. #NoHierarchyJustPeople

🫖 Want to start a Public Living Room? Find out more at camarados.org (and you might just receive a beautiful permission-giving box to get you going). #JFDI

Happy Christmas everyone!

Links:

Home - Camerados

“It takes a village”

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

Amelia Wilkinson: Living (and parenting) with Type 1 diabetes - beyond the data

Published on 14 November (World Diabetes Day), this conversation lifts the lid on what most of us miss about Type 1 diabetes - the mental load, the masking, and the trauma that doesn’t show up on a glucose graph.

Podcast host Gill Phillips talks with Amelia Wilkinson, diagnosed at 10 and now a mum, about growing up through school exclusions and assumptions.

Topics include why behaviour is communication, navigating a high-risk pregnancy, and the power - and limits - of technology.

Amelia calls for two big shifts: train the adults around children with Type 1 (teachers, carers, clinicians) to spot the emotional toll

AND separate Type 1 and Type 2 awareness, so misconceptions stop harming care.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon lightbulbs

🍋 Type 1 ≠ Type 2: why the confusion hurts

🍋 Grief for a ‘former self’ and the hidden mental health toll

🍋 School stories: control, freedom-seeking, and being labelled ‘naughty’

🍋 Pregnancy with Type 1: what it really took for Amelia to have her daughter

🍋 Masking, peer support, and life beyond the data

🍋 Don’t make assumptions – ask how the person is doing, including mental health

🍋 Train the grown-ups!

🍋 Separate the awareness days!

If you work with children and families- or love someone with Type 1 - this one’s for you.

Links

Type 1 Diabetes: The Comic Book Stories (courtesy of FAB Fab NHS Stuff)

World Diabetes Day

Overview of Whose Shoes

Wild Card - Whose Shoes podcast with Aurora Thompson

💛 #WorldDiabetesDay #Type1Diabetes #NoHierarchyJustPeople #WhoseShoes #WildCard

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

In this powerful episode of Wild Card -Whose Shoes?, Gill Phillips talks with Aurora Thompson - a remarkable young woman whose story of trauma, survival, and resilience will stop you in your tracks.

Aurora shares her lived experience of abuse,, bullying, mental health crises, and being sectioned as a teenager.

She talks about her diagnosis with autism and what difference it has made.

But at the heart of her journey is a message of hope: a force she breaks down into four vital elements — connection, love, opportunity, and purpose.

🍋 All behaviour is communication - don’t judge, listen.

🍋 How is it okay to restrain but not hug?

🍋 The cost (emotional and financial) of crisis care versus the value of early intervention

🍋 The role of “golden people” — those rare professionals who bring honesty, humour, and humanity

🍋 From despair to purpose: how a photo of a therapy dog sparked hope, and how participation work with Barnardo’s became a lifeline

🍋 “Aim for the stars and you might just land near the moon” - Aurora’s call to dream big.

We also explore diagnostic overshadowing, the importance of holistic care, and why systems must stop lazily labelling children as “complex” and start seeing them as whole people.

Aurora is now studying philosophy, working with young people, and speaking out with passion and clarity to help change the system for those who come after her. Her voice is brave, authentic, and unforgettable.

🎧 Listen in for a story that is painful, inspiring, and ultimately hopeful - and perhaps take away your own lemon lightbulb or two. 🍋💡🍋

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

🎙️ Wild Card – Whose Shoes? with Gill Phillips
Episode: An #IntentionalCoffee with Dr Ben Allen

In this episode, Gill Phillips speaks for the very first time with Dr Ben Allen - transformative GP, former ICB leader, and curious explorer of how the NHS can work better for staff, patients, and communities.

Ben and Gill have connected through LinkedIn where Ben describes himself as: "GP, NHS leader, convener and innovator. Releasing potential, creating joyful and effective teams. Supporting large scale improvement."

On the podcast, Ben shares his bold decision to step away from a formal leadership role to pursue a two-year “personal learning experiment” - visiting teams, shadowing people across the NHS and beyond, and testing new ways of connecting, leading, and learning.

✨ Ben and Gill dive into:

• Building trust and psychological safety in teams.
• Why creativity (perhaps a RAP or a ball of wool!) can shift culture.
• The power of connections and ripples in complex systems.
• How social media can be more than noise - a space for learning, challenge, and collaboration.
• The hope found in unlocking the untapped potential of human beings.

It’s a rich, hopeful, and energising conversation about leadership, curiosity, and finding new ways to make change happen.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon lightbulbs

🍋 “Make everything work harder” – capture, share, and amplify learning so others can benefit.

🍋 Psychological safety is built when we stretch people’s vulnerability just enough – trust grows through human connection.

🍋 Creativity in healthcare (a poem, a musical, a ball of wool!) can feel radical because our systems are so rigid – yet these moments are what people remember.

🍋 Impact in complex systems is messy and hard to measure – but ripples matter.

🍋 Relationships are as vital as evidence; systems are only as strong as their connections.

🍋 Social media isn’t just a hobby – it’s an underused engine for ideas, learning, and collaboration.

🍋 Hope comes from recognising untapped potential in people and organisations – not just from more money or resources.

🍋 Stepping out of your comfort zone to explore and learn can bring rich rewards.

Useful links

Find out more about #CYPWhoseShoes:
'Whose News?' Edition 14

BRAND NEW - The #CYPWhoseShoes story so far, told with a ball of string!

Ben's Youtube channel

#MatExp the Musical

Listen to the episodes around #UniversalHealthcare (Episodes 56-62) - explore further some of the issues and people mentioned in this conversation:

56. Becky Malby – Universal Healthcare
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1838805/15239449

57. Tom Holliday - Children get less
https:

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.