Showing results by author "Matt Shaw" in All Categories

Karen thought she was married for life but her husband had other ideas. Married for five years and he'd been cheating for three of those. Why? Because Karen wasn't adventurous enough in the bedroom department. He got his kicks elsewhere, from a woman prepared to do anything and everything he fancied. He never meant to fall in love with the other woman, it just happened and - as a result - he had to leave his wife. Karen's friend Emma took her in and it was here - staying on her couch - that Karen was accidentally introduced to a new, seedier world....

Moving from school to school is never easy. You're constantly struggling to catch up to the level of the other students. You're forever meeting new friends just to have to leave them and establish new colleagues at the new schools. You always find yourself lost in the never-ending maze of corridors as you battle to get to grips with where everything is.... But it's worse when the more unfriendly students decide to take an instant dislike to you. Tormenting you each day...pushing you to see how long it is before you're going to snap...

The follow-up to Matt Shaw's Bite-Size: A Collection of Short Stories. Hear five more previously unpublished short stories from one of Britain's most warped imaginations.

T-Rex isn't the violent, blood-thirsty dinosaur people believe it to be. He's just grumpy and you would be too if you were sexually frustrated. With arms so small he can't take care of his own business and with other dinosaurs running from him he is left to roam the land with a bad case of blue balls. Gark isn't a dinosaur though. He's one of the two-legged hairless apes who are new on the scene. And he knows just what Rex needs to mellow him out.

Jeremy Jumper isn’t like normal people. Jeremy has a medical condition which causes a large mass to grow on the end of his nose. It starts as a red mark and, over the following days, balloons to ridiculous size. Strangers stop and stare while others dive for cover, worried it’s about to explode.

The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw. Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve. For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.

Martin and Sonia's child, Stevie, needs a liver transplant. But in this cruel world, unless you're rich enough to go private, the only way they're going to get one is if Stevie enters The Arena with other sickly children and steps out victorious.

Twelve housemates enter a house as part of a bold, new television show. All they know is they're to have their actions monitored 24 hours a day and compete in a series of tasks with the knowledge that - at the end of the show - one of them will walk away with 100,000 pounds. But all is not as it seems, and the truth - and danger - becomes apparent as soon as the doors lock them in on their first night, and the first of the 12 is murdered....

Dean and Jess knew the house had a tragic past but it did not stop them from making the move with their young daughters. It was supposed to be a new - and bigger - home with which they could continue to build upon their already established happy memories but as the house's past begins to haunt them they realize it is not the dream they first hoped it to be.

Jake has nearly everything he wants from life. He has the good looks. He has the money. He has the fame. He has the model wife. He has the booming film career and popularity. The only thing he doesn't seem to have is the luck, and soon he finds himself without arms or legs....

The year is 2032, and five-year-old Jacob is opening the biggest gift, beneath the Christmas tree, which is labeled for him: his very first semi-automatic rifle—and he couldn't be prouder. He smiles to his parents who sit close by. They don't smile back. Their minds are stuck on earlier events of what should have been a magical day: the moment they found out Jacob was set to be a brother.

The world has been ravaged and left to rot, tainted with heavy radiation. The people on the ground - those still alive at least - aren't sure what happened and no longer care. The truth wouldn't fix anything for them. It wouldn't help them survive each day; their first priority. But why? There's nothing left to live for. Everything is gone. This is the end.

From Matt Shaw (Sick B*stards) comes a new short story following a working girl as she tries getting her life back on track after one session goes very, very wrong. Violent, tragic, sad, and sweet. This one has everything.

"I want a dog!" Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog, but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for.

Have you ever been cut up by another road user? Have you have been stuck behind some idiot driving well below the speed limit? Have you ever had to swerve to avoid someone who hasn't used their indicators? Have you ever been served by rude staff members who clearly don't want to be working? Have you ever listened to just how rude old people can be? Ever got frustrated listening to the excessive open-mouthed chewing of someone sitting near you? Have you ever been cheated on by a partner? Paul James has and...he's had enough.

Before you go "behind closed doors" with Matt Shaw's anthology - Shaw invites you into the exclusive penthouse and private life of Duncan Whitfield; a man who has lost nearly everything with only his home left to be taken. Desperate to keep some dignity and claw his way back to the top of society's elite, Whitfield comes up with a plan to raise the necessary funds to clear his mounting debt. But is it too late for him?

People laughed at him when he said he wanted to be a movie star, and yet here he was - the biggest night of his life - collecting his Oscar for "Best Actor". Grinning like an idiot, he couldn't even recall the speech he gave to the camera...The camera and a room full of actors, directors, and producers - people who used to look down their nose at him whenever he had a new film coming out (usually an over the top action film with huge explosions and slow-mo gun battles). They're not looking down their nose at him now though.

If I am to be damned with slim chance to yet redeem myself than for why spend the rest of my waking days in trying to make amends when I can but face my demons early and enjoy the warmth offered from the free flames of Hell? You say that this is the fate that awaits unless I change my ways and wants and yet the man you’ve shown is the one whom I am and am proud to be. The what-if is all but weak, the kind of man seen staggering down a street with not a penny in his pocket and yet still taken for a fool by those passing by.

Let me take you on a journey - a journey where you can hear my pain. Learn about all the techniques I've tried when dealing with my bouts of depression and self-hatred. Some techniques are actively encouraged by professionals across the world; other techniques (prostitutes, drugs, self-harm) are pretty much frowned upon. The spoilsports. What worked for me and what most certainly didn't! Told with the blackest of humor to keep things fun!

The world is overpopulated. Resources are running out. In an effort to balance things out, the government has stepped in with a radical new lottery system. All names are put into a computer, with 200 names being drawn at random. Of those people, 100 will get one color (red) token and 100 will get another color token (white). Whatever color they received, they had to go to the government-run club for the night. Of those who received the white token, they would be going home the following day. For those who received the red tokens? They would be leaving in a body bag.