Trailer Park Goblins

I was having the perfect day when I suddenly found myself on the wrong side of an interdimensional portal. Instead of a weekend in wine country, I wound up in a trailer park that seemed stuck in the 1980s and filled with... goblin women? By the way, since when are goblins real? And why are the women so hot?

With the sale of our first magical knife, our weapons manufacturing business was off to a strong start. Cash was flowing and spirits were high. We tried to push ourselves, to advance our technology a bit and come up with something new and exciting. But a problem began to rear its ugly head. It seemed that Mandi was a bit obsessive, and something weird was forming between her and Bobbi Jo. With this many women around, jealousy was bound to rear its ugly head. I just didn't expect it to happen so suddenly.

Being a weapons manufacturer was surprisingly easy. At least, it was for me, but mostly because I had a magical tablet imparting knowledge and a half dozen goblin babes that worked hard, producing these things. Yeah, business was booming. Our enchanted weapons were fetching five digits each, and we had plans for new and improved weapons and armor that would blow everyone away. Maybe literally. What to do with all that money? Well, I tried to decide between vintage video games, our own racetrack, hotrodding old cars, and ahem, fun times. I couldn't decide, so we just went with all of the above.

You guessed it. It's beach day! David and his beautiful goblin women have worked hard and turned their guns-and-explosives trade into a six-figure business, and business is booming. Also exploding. But all work and no play is not the trailer park way of life, so instead of throwing a pizza party, David motivates the team with a day off to visit a nearby waterfall. Word is, there's a wide, sandy beach right there that's perfect for relaxing.

Life inside the Protection Zone is thrilling beyond imagination. Every day I am drowning in luxury, adventure, and more beautiful women than I can count, a dream scenario if I can stay focused. But bikini-clad distractions are everywhere, and I can feel my attention slipping. But while all the rampant hedonism is awesome, I need to focus my efforts on building new and improved weapons that we can sell for untold sums of money. Also, some of the women hadn't formally accepted my marriage proposals, so I wanted to focus on that as well.

Our weapons manufacturing business was improving by the week, and we had more money than we knew what to do with. I kept steadily leveling up, and Blerg finally finished our racetrack. It seemed that all of these dreams of ours were finally becoming a reality.