The Love You To Life Show cover art

The Love You To Life Show

The Love You To Life Show

By: Calvalyn Day & Elizabeth White
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The Love You to Life Show is a biweekly podcast for high-achieving women who are ready to love their lives—not just survive them. Hosted by two sisters—one sweet, one spicy—who mix faith, storytelling, and real-life strategy to help you own your choices, embrace what matters, and build a life that feels as good as it looks. If you’re craving peace, purpose, and a community that gets it, you’re in the right place. Level up with us—and start living on your terms.Calvalyn Day & Elizabeth White Personal Development Personal Success
Episodes
  • Fear, Fatigue & the Caregiver Identity

    Fear, Fatigue & the Caregiver Identity
    Jun 18 2026

    In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day dig into one of the most deeply rooted patterns affecting high-achieving women, and Black women in particular: the identity that forms when you spend a lifetime being everything to everyone else and very little to yourself. Calvalyn calls it the 92%ers topic. Buckle in.

    Sparked by two viral videos, one from an elderly woman, talking about women who never learn to receive care, and another featuring Wall Street powerhouse Carla Harris in conversation with Mel Robbins about fear and fatigue as the two forces that keep Black women from reaching their full potential, Elizabeth and Calvalyn go deep into the science and the soul of it all. They explore how caregiving identity forms in childhood, how repeated patterns beat neural pathways in the brain, how the fear of being called lazy is a trauma response rooted in generational history, and why emotional excavation is the only way out.

    This episode is for every woman who has held her pee so she could cross one more thing off her list, who always says 'I got it' when someone offers to help, or who has accomplished so much she's exhausted at the thought of going after the thing that she really wants. Elizabeth and Calvalyn close with a powerful challenge for every woman who is ready to love her life.

    Resources Mentioned

    Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, Dr. Joy DeGruy https://amzn.to/4xvneC1

    Stay Connected!

    Instagram

    Elizabeth, https://www.instagram.com/lovinglifewithliz

    Calvalyn, https://www.instagram.com/calvalyn/?hl=en

    TikTok

    Elizabeth, https://www.tiktok.com/@lovinglifewithliz

    Calvalyn, https://www.tiktok.com/@calvalynday

    LinkedIn

    Calvalyn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/calvalynday/

    Elizabeth, https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-white-lmhc-lcac-board-certified-life-coach-34ba8734/

    Chapters

    00:00 Opening: The 92%ers Topic, Buckle In

    00:52 Why This Episode Matters (and Why You Should Share It)

    01:16 How an Episode Gets Born: TikTok Inboxes and Toe-Dipping

    04:30 Video 1: Women Conditioned to Caregive from Birth

    05:05 The Question: When Did You First Start Taking Care of Others?

    06:55 Calvalyn's Story: Being an Auntie Before She Was Born

    07:52 When Identity Forms Around What Others Need from You

    08:25 If You've Ever Felt Like: Who Am I Without the People I Care For?

    09:00 How Caregiving Patterns Show Up in Adult Relationships

    10:22 Raising People Who Can Stand on Their Own

    12:33 The Cultural Context: Adultifying Black Children

    14:12 We Are Not Raising Children to Step Aside

    15:26 Leila's School Project: A Lesson in Not Giving Up Your Seat

    18:02 What We're Excavating Now Was Planted Then

    19:00 Brain Science: How Repeated Patterns Become Your Operating System

    21:54 When to Work with a Therapist or Coach

    22:25 Video 2: Carla Harris on Fear and Fatigue for Black Women

    24:25 Overqualified and Exhausted: The Cost of Getting Here

    26:18 Fear Gets More Sophisticated as You Age, Elizabeth's Take

    27:07 Where Do They Actually Want Us? A Real Conversation

    28:46 Elizabeth's Childhood Memory: Swallowing Grief to Protect Her Dad

    30:33 It Wasn't Wrong, But Look at the Meaning You Made from It

    31:30 The L Word: How Fear of Being Called Lazy Is a Generational Wound

    32:23 Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome and What We Passed Down

    32:45 Elizabeth's Pee Story, and What It Actually Means

    34:12 Saying 'I Got It' When Someone Offers to Help

    35:25 What Would It Look Like to Actually Receive?

    35:44 The Abundance Challenge: $21 and a Tag-In

    37:46 The Pre-Work Question: Where Do You Feel Supported Right Now?

    39:40 Train Your Brain to See More of What You Want

    40:25 The Reticular Activating System and Why Gratitude Changes Everything

    42:23 Gratitude and Desire Can Coexist, You Don't Have to Choose

    43:47 You Don't Have to Be Old and Tired

    44:14 Close: Love Your Life and the People in It
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    43 mins
  • Choose Your Hard

    Choose Your Hard
    Jun 4 2026
    In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day get honest about the one conversation nobody wants to have...the cost of staying stuck. Life feels hard right now: gas prices, layoffs, uncertainty, a season that won’t quit. But Elizabeth and Calvalyn make a powerful case that hard is on both sides of the equation. It is hard to stay exactly where you are. It is hard to change. The question is: which hard are you willing to live with?Drawing on brain science, faith, personal stories, and real talk, Elizabeth and Calvalyn break down why your brain is wired to keep you in familiar discomfort, what self-betrayal and self-abandonment actually look like when you keep deferring your own life, and how staying stuck is not the safe route, it is just the familiar one. This episode is for every woman who has put her dreams on a vision board, scripted it, visualized it, and still has not taken a single step. Elizabeth and Calvalyn remind their Love-You-to-Lifers that confidence comes from movement, clarity comes from movement, and the right time is not coming to save you. Resources Mentioned:Mastering the Messy Middle WorkshopCheck out The Well Counseling & Consulting Group Stay Connected! InstagramElizabeth — @lovinglifewithlizCalvalyn — @calvalyn TikTokElizabeth — @lovinglifewithlizCalvalyn — @calvalynday LinkedInCalvalyn DayElizabeth White, LMHC, LCAC Chapters01:00 Why Things Feel Hard Right Now02:00 Choose Your Hard: It’s Hard to Stay AND Hard to Change04:30 Do You Know Who You Are?06:30 Laughter Is Medicine: Why We Clown in Love You To Life Land07:30 Elizabeth’s Story: The Speech Class That Almost Cost Her a Degree09:00 What You Avoid Is Often Where Your Purpose Lives10:00 Going All In: 10 Toes Down on the Hard Decision12:30 Doing Hard Things Creates Neural Pathways13:00 Your Brain’s One Job: Keep You Alive, Not Happy14:00 Self-Betrayal and Self-Abandonment Nobody Talks About14:30 Comparison, Resentment & Who Is Really the Problem15:30 Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, Your Voice & What Happens When You Stay Silent16:00 Staying Stuck Makes Discomfort Familiar17:00 David Goggins, Pain & Why Success Does Not Have to Hurt18:00 Getting Unstuck Looks Nothing Like the Movies18:30 Calvalyn’s Story: The Quiet Moment She Decided to Get Divorced19:30 The Messy Middle: What Happens Between the Decision and the Destination20:00 You Don’t Have to Connect All the Dots Right Now21:30 Clarity and Confidence Come from Movement, Not Waiting22:00 Faith, the Unknown Hard & Choosing to Move Anyway23:00 Vision Boards Won’t Work Without Micro Steps24:00 Walk Around the Living Room. Take the Skin Off the Chicken.25:00 Therapy, Certified Life Coaching & Support Groups26:00 How to Find the Right Therapist (and Why 3–5 Sessions Is Fair)27:00 Girl, You Just Wait — Elizabeth’s Self-Talk Strategy29:00 Faith, Patience & What the Book Says About the Other Side30:00 Get Clear on What the Other Side Could Look Like32:00 Every Day You Don’t Choose, You’re Still Choosing33:00 Areas Where Stuckness Hides: Marriage, Parenting, Business35:00 Church, Cities, Careers & Giving Yourself Permission to Change37:00 Calvalyn’s Career Pivot (and Her Fresh-Cut Bangs)38:00 Where Are You Not Satisfied? Go Investigate.39:00 Community Challenge: Tell Us the Hard Thing You Did Keywordsgetting unstuck, choose your hard, doing hard things, fear of change, staying stuck, self-betrayal, self-abandonment, growth mindset, neural pathways, brain science and behavior, messy middle, comfort zone, moving forward, life transitions, Black women empowerment, high achievers, women and mental health, therapy for women, certified life coach, support community, vision board, micro steps, faith and action, fear of the unknown, love you to life podcast, Elizabeth White, Calvalyn Day, women doing hard things, stuck and scared, clarity comes from movement, right time is waiting on you
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    39 mins
  • Maybe It's NOT Your Budget: Real Talk About Money

    Maybe It's NOT Your Budget: Real Talk About Money
    May 21 2026
    In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day get real about the money conversations nobody wants to have, and why they are the ones you need most. Rather than another budget tip or expense-cutting checklist, Elizabeth and Calvalyn go beneath the strategies to uncover the money stories, money wounds, and money mindsets that are quietly running your financial life.Drawing on their combined expertise in emotional intelligence, coaching, and lived experience, the two explore how generational poverty cues (yes, including the grease can on the stove), childhood scarcity, and survival-mode thinking shape the way you earn, spend, save, and give money today, often without you even realizing it. They break down the four core money personality types, share vulnerable personal stories about overspending to feel worthy and being the “bank and backbone” for family members, and explain why financial freedom is not tied to a budget, it’s tied to what you are willing to face. Elizabeth and Calvalyn also push back on shame-based financial advice and make the case that healing your money wounds must come before (or alongside) any money strategy. They speak directly to high-achieving Black and brown women who are overqualified, carrying the financial weight of their families, and still wondering why the app isn’t working. Spoiler: it’s a belief issue, a boundaries issue, and a worthiness issue long before it is a budgeting issue. Resources Mentioned:Heal Your Relationship with Money by Kara Stevens Stay Connected!InstagramElizabeth — @lovinglifewithlizCalvalyn — @calvalyn TikTokElizabeth — @lovinglifewithlizCalvalyn — @calvalyndayLinkedInCalvalyn DayElizabeth White, LMHC, LCAC Chapters00:00 Introduction & Crowdsourcing a Theme Song01:00 Why Money Conversations Are Nobody’s Favorite02:30 Money Strategies Won’t Fix What You Won’t Face04:00 Poverty Cues: Sermon, Grease Cans & Visual Abundance09:00 Generational Poverty Starts in the Way You Live11:00 Money Stories Are Planted by Age Four12:30 The Four Money Personality Types13:45 Elizabeth’s Story: Overspending to Feel Normal14:30 Calvalyn’s Story: The Avoider Turned Overachiever15:00 Opposites Attract: Money Trauma in Relationships17:00 The Birthday Bag: Worthiness Without a New Purchase17:45 Shame Is Always in the Room19:00 Nobody Taught Us About Wealth & Abundance21:00 Dave Ramsey, Shame-Based Advice & Why It Doesn’t Work for Us23:30 Financial Freedom as Autonomy & Safety, Not Checkbox Compliance25:00 Minimum Wage, the Economy & Systems Not Built for Us26:30 Why Do I Believe What I Believe About Money?27:15 Worthiness, Deserving, & the Cost of Self-Denial29:00 Healing the Money Wound: It’s Biological, Emotional & Spiritual30:00 Athletes, Bankruptcy & Unhealed Money Stories31:30 Being the Bank & the Backbone for Your Family33:30 High Achievers: Find Your Boundaries35:30 Healing Must Happen Before (or With) the Strategy37:00 Financial Freedom Is Tied to What You’re Willing to Face37:45 Identify the Feeling You Want to Have About Your Money39:00 Community Challenge: What Money Story Are You Ready to Let Go? Keywordsmoney mindset, money story, money wounds, financial freedom, generational wealth, generational poverty, money trauma, emotional intelligence, financial healing, high achievers, Black women and money, abundance mindset, scarcity mindset, overspending, money personality types, budget alternatives, financial boundaries, bank and backbone, worthiness and money, money beliefs, healing your finances, financial stress, poverty cues, Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White, Calvalyn Day, wealth building for women, financial shame, money behaviors, expansive money conversations, financial wellbeing
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    40 mins
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