What happens when the parent who always refused accountability finally agrees to therapy?

In this episode, Ruth and Katie explore the complex realities of dysfunctional family systems, the difference between reconciliation and repair, the risks and potential benefits of family therapy with a narcissistic or emotionally immature parent, and we delve deep into the pressure many adult children face to "keep the peace" from extended family – at the expense of their own wellbeing.

If you've ever wondered whether attending one final conversation is an act of self-respect or self-betrayal, this episode is for you.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

"Do as I say and you can stay. Piss me off and you are out."

That was the message our listener received throughout her childhood.

In this powerful letter, she reflects on growing up with a mother who repeatedly used the threat of abandonment to maintain control — leaving her with severe anxiety, a deep fear of rejection, and the sense that love could be withdrawn at any moment.

Now a parent herself, she finds herself facing a different challenge. As she sets boundaries to protect her children, her mother accuses her of being angry, difficult to love, and responsible for breaking up the family. At the same time, she appears increasingly focused on building relationships with her grandchildren while refusing to address the hurt in her relationship with her daughter.

In this episode, we explore abandonment as a form of narcissistic abuse, the impact of growing up with conditional love, and why protecting your children can sometimes bring old family dynamics into sharp focus. We also discuss the grief of accepting that some parents are more invested in access than accountability — and what healing can look like when repair isn't possible.

Contact Dr. Ruth Callaghan: www.callaghancounselling.ie

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In this week episode, I’m joined by Michelle from ADAPT Domestic Abuse Services for a vital conversation about domestic abuse and coercive control:

• How it can look in real life
• Why it can be so hard to recognise when you’re inside it
• and what support can make possible.

Michelle brings years of frontline experience supporting women experiencing domestic abuse through outreach, education, family law court support, and recovery groups across Limerick.

Together, we talk about the patterns of coercive control, the impact abuse can have on your sense of self and safety, and some of the reasons people can feel trapped, confused, or unable to name what’s happening.

This episode is for anyone wanting a clearer picture of how coercive control works behind closed doors. We also explore the importance of community awareness and the role support can play in helping someone move from survival toward safety and recovery.

www.adaptservices.ie

Phone ADAPT - 1 800 200 504

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I overreacting, or was that not okay?” — this episode is for you.

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, the question “Can I trust my own perception?” sits quietly at the centre of healing — shaping how you think, feel, and relate to yourself and others.

In this episode, I shift the focus away from analysing the narcissist and bring it back to you — your internal world. Because while understanding the abuse is essential, staying stuck in that analysis can keep you disconnected from the very thing that was taken from you: trust in yourself.

In this solo episode, I talk about 4 ways your body and nervous system send you signals: chronic confusion, the “ick,” the physical sensation of feeling small or put down, and the urge to fawn or appease.

This episode is an invitation to begin moving your internal compass back where it belongs — inside you.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In this solo episode, I dive deep into the fear so many people carry after narcissistic abuse: Is it me – Am I The problem?

When you’ve spent years being blamed, criticised, or made responsible for someone else’s behaviour, it’s so common to question yourself deeply. But there’s a huge difference between being human and being narcissistic.

In this episode I'll explore how many survivors swing the pendulum completely the other way — becoming so afraid of being selfish, demanding, or “too much” that they stop taking up space altogether. They struggle to say no, change their mind, express needs, or even protest hurtful sarcasm because they fear centring themselves in the way the narcissist did.

This episode is about reclaiming healthy space. Learning that you are allowed to have boundaries, opinions, needs, and limits without it making you narcissistic.

You have the right to say no, to change your mind, to speak up when something hurts, and to exist fully in your relationships — not through dominance & control, but through self-respect and emotional health.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

ADHD is something many people have heard of. You may know someone who has been diagnosed. You may already have a diagnosis, or maybe you’ve quietly wondered if it could explain parts of your life that have always felt harder than they should.

For a lot of people, the story sounds like this: “This is just me. I’m scattered. I’m forgetful. I start things and don’t finish them. I’m bad at routines.”
And over time, those patterns can become identity.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Sarah Carthy, who specialises in ADHD, to unpack what ADHD can actually look like in real life — especially in girls and women, where it so often goes unseen and misunderstood.

Because ADHD doesn’t always look like the stereotype.

It can look like being high-functioning on the outside but overwhelmed on the inside.
It can look like chronic procrastination, emotional intensity, people-pleasing, or burnout.
It can look like constantly trying to “keep up” with a world that feels just slightly out of sync with how your brain works.

And for many women, it goes undiagnosed for years.

Instead, it gets labelled as anxiety.
Or sensitivity.
Or “just the way you are.”

In this conversation, we explore:

• The different ways ADHD presents, particularly beyond the hyperactive stereotype
• Why so many girls and women are missed or misdiagnosed
• The emotional impact of living without answers
• How ADHD can shape self-worth, relationships, and daily functioning

I also share my own personal journey with ADHD — what led me to explore it, what shifted when I began to understand it, and my experience with medication.

Because this isn’t just about diagnosis.
It’s about knowledge.
It’s about context.
It’s about recognising that some of the things you’ve been blaming yourself for, have never been character flaws to begin with.

Dr Sarah Carthy: www.adhddoc.ie

www.irelandadhd.ie

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Adult children of narcissists parents often struggle to name what happened to them.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Dr. Rachna Buxani, and we’re exploring the different faces of narcissism — and why it can be so hard to recognise.

While many people can spot the grandiose narcissist — the constant need to be the centre of attention, the arrogance, the lack of empathy — it’s the other, quieter forms of narcissism, that often go unnoticed and can be most confusing.

In this episode we explore more covert (or vulnerable) narcissism—the “poor me” dynamic, where someone positions themselves as the victim, appearing sensitive or misunderstood, while quietly centring everything around their own needs.

This can show up as guilt-tripping, emotional withdrawal, stonewalling and blame-shifting that leaves you feeling responsible for their pain.

We also look at communal narcissism — where the narcissist is widely seen as generous and selfless. They can be deeply admired in their community, yet behind closed doors it's a complexity different story. There is a constant need for admiration, validation and control. This makes the relationship confusing and one-sided — and you doubt yourself, especially when your experience doesn’t match how the world sees them.

This conversation about making sense of what you’ve lived through — so you can begin to rebuild self-trust, set boundaries, and reconnect with your voice.

Unseen - A Therapist's Reflection on a Daughter's Journey Through a Narcissistic Father's Shadow

Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Becoming a mother is often spoken about as a time of softness. A time where a mother is held, supported, celebrated. Where care naturally gathers around her.

But for many adult children of narcissistic parents, pregnancy and having their own children can feel like the exact opposite.

Instead of support, there can be intrusion.
Instead of care, there can be control.
Instead of being seen, there can be a sudden and overwhelming sense of being claimed.

In this week’s episode of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I’m joined by Kristin Morgan, who brings over a decade of experience in maternal mental health and reproductive psychology. Together, we explore the emotional complexity that can arise when an adult child steps into motherhood while still navigating a relationship with a narcissistic parent.

Because for many, pregnancy doesn’t just mark the beginning of a new life — it marks the re-emergence of old patterns.

Contact Kristin: www.morgancounsel.com

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast